C3217

Thanks for your reply, Deb, the emptiness SCREAMS at me & I look for her in her usual spots,,,sometimes I feel so desperate. I am trying to be patient with myself with the knowledge that we grieve because we have loved. I just miss her so much. I pray often. Thank you

Spika, Im so ,so sorry for your loss,,, I also took care of my Mom 24/7 during her last 4 months. The exhaustion I do understand. I am a registered nurse but not working at the present. My family & I moved from NY to Arizona 2 yrs ago & devoted my time to mom , my son (14)& finishing my masters in nursing. I am an avid runner & cyclist,,mom use to encourage me to train as I have fall races I love to participate in. I can still feel her putting sun-block on my shoulders. I think there is + & - to keeping a busy mind. I am grieving & I know I need to but it is just so more painful than I could ever have imagined. I have not met many friends here but will start to reach out to those that I have. Its true,,its on my mind 24 hours a day,,,it still seems so unreal. thanks for the reply,,,sometimes it helps to know Im not alone.

I lost my Mom,my best friend July 31-2011,,,I miss her so much,,,,I feel so lost,,,,,,, What struck me was how the world seemed to move on like a HUGE steam roller,,,while my world STOPPED,,,the started spinning on a weird axis,,,the business side of death demanded swift action,,,thank God for my sister who picked the casket & flowers as my Mom passed in AZ and was to be laid to rest in Colorado with my father.A week later I stood in my empty house,,,daughter back in college,son at school ,husband at work,,,,empty. All I want to do is sleep,,,but hate to go to sleep at night because when I wake up its real. I feel for all of you who have lost ,,,my shoulders are here for you,,,,,i need a few too. Tina

I am so,so sorry for your loss,,I wish I had a magic word or two to help you. I just lost my Mom July 31,,she was my world, my best friend. I am blessed by my husband & family as when my Mom became ill(chronic lung disease) & we were faced with the choice to let her go in the hospital or bring her home on hospice. We chose hospice & Mom came home with us. My mom was not expected to last the night,,,well 3 months later Mom & I were making plans for flowerpots & new lunch places to try when she got stronger. She was going to graduate off hospice that week. Sunday morning came & she was called out by her heart,,,she was awake& holding my hand,,i dont believe she had any pain,,,she did seem to be intently looking off to the side,,almost happy not long before she died. I felt a sense of calm go through me ,,but dismissed it at the time. I as you expected to see a "sign",,,& still hope to. I was disappointed that I had not , but now feel that they wait for us to have some time & perspective. I am still reeling from the pain,,sometimes I feel as though I will never fully live again as whats the point as if you cant go have fun & then tell your mom about it,,,whats the point?? I know that we grieve because we have loved & nothing done in love is done for the wrong reasons,, I just miss her so much.........Know that there are others who share in your pain,,,as daughters we are blessed to have been so close to our moms,,,,I now look at my children & husband & know that love is what this is all about,,,,,,I'll embrace it when I can see past my tears, Tina

I am so,so sorry for your loss,,I wish I had a magic word or two to help you. I just lost my Mom July 31,,she was my world, my best friend. I am blessed by my husband & family as when my Mom became ill(chronic lung disease) & we were faced with the choice to let her go in the hospital or bring her home on hospice. We chose hospice & Mom came home with us. My mom was not expected to last the night,,,well 3 months later Mom & I were making plans for flowerpots & new lunch places to try when she got stronger. She was going to graduate off hospice that week. Sunday morning came & she was called out by her heart,,,she was awake& holding my hand,,i dont believe she had any pain,,,she did seem to be intently looking off to the side,,almost happy not long before she died. I felt a sense of calm go through me ,,but dismissed it at the time. I as you expected to see a "sign",,,& still hope to. I was disappointed that I had not , but now feel that they wait for us to have some time & perspective. I am still reeling from the pain,,sometimes I feel as though I will never fully live again as whats the point as if you cant go have fun & then tell your mom about it,,,whats the point?? I know that we grieve because we have loved & nothing done in love is done for the wrong reasons,, I just miss her so much.........Know that there are others who share in your pain,,,as daughters we are blessed to have been so close to our moms,,,,I now look at my children & husband & know that love is what this is all about,,,,,,I'll embrace it when I can see past my tears, Tina

I am so,so sorry for your loss,,I wish I had a magic word or two to help you. I just lost my Mom July 31,,she was my world, my best friend. I am blessed by my husband & family as when my Mom became ill(chronic lung disease) & we were faced with the choice to let her go in the hospital or bring her home on hospice. We chose hospice & Mom came home with us. My mom was not expected to last the night,,,well 3 months later Mom & I were making plans for flowerpots & new lunch places to try when she got stronger. She was going to graduate off hospice that week. Sunday morning came & she was called out by her heart,,,she was awake& holding my hand,,i dont believe she had any pain,,,she did seem to be intently looking off to the side,,almost happy not long before she died. I felt a sense of calm go through me ,,but dismissed it at the time. I as you expected to see a "sign",,,& still hope to. I was disappointed that I had not , but now feel that they wait for us to have some time & perspective. I am still reeling from the pain,,sometimes I feel as though I will never fully live again as whats the point as if you cant go have fun & then tell your mom about it,,,whats the point?? I know that we grieve because we have loved & nothing done in love is done for the wrong reasons,, I just miss her so much.........Know that there are others who share in your pain,,,as daughters we are blessed to have been so close to our moms,,,,I now look at my children & husband & know that love is what this is all about,,,,,,I'll embrace it when I can see past my tears, Tina