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bea2011

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Everything posted by bea2011

  1. hi debbie, my husband joe died of a stroke july 3rd. it was the most horrifing thing that has ever happened to me. i am having difficult writing this as i get very weak just thinking about it. i spend a lot of time just sitting and reading. i read different grief groups on the net. i went to a grief support group but did nothing but cry so i never went back and no one ever called me to see if i was doing ok.i get waves of grief. sometimes they are big waves were i sit and cry and cry. other waves are little but they still come across me with confusion and sorrow.of all the things i read it says this is normal and there is no other way but to go straight thru this. my daughter tells me of a quote from winston churchhill during WW2 that goes somdthing like this if your going thru hell just keep going to get tto the other side. i dont know whats on the other side of this saddness but i try to tell myself i have no doubt that my life will get better and i just have to keep to that. praying that you find some peace today. sharon i found this poem i would like to share. "we can shed tears because they are gone or we can smile because they lived. we can close our eyes and pray they come back or, we can open our eyes and see all they left. our hearts can be empty because we don`t see them. or, we can open our eyes and see all they left us. our hearts can be empty b ecause we don`t see them. or, full of the love we shared. we can remember them and only that thier gone. or, we can cherish their memory and let it live on. we can cry and close opur minds, be empty and turn our backs. or, we can do what they would want to smile, open our eyes, love and go on." sharon
  2. yes, hello. i lost my husband of 20 years. we had your ups and downs but our love always pulled us thru. so that means our love just grew deeper and deeper. i lost him on july 3 and i too am lost without him, his humor when things were down, his wisdom when something was overwhelming,his love for people around him.he suffered for many months with the illness copd and then all of a sudden he had a massive stroke. it was so painful to see him go thru that i thought i was going to die wth him, i was devastated. now i`m trying to put my life back together. all the things i`ve read it says be kind to yourself, do what you need to do for you. my husband told me before he died when i asked what would i do without him, he told me i just don`t want you to give up. so i try to remember these words when i get totally down and i try to do what he would have wanted me to do. pray god gives you and me the strength to not give up. sharon
  3. hi all, i find the remarks here very helpful. my husband died 3 months ago, july3,i have good days and bad. he always said honey i`m home when he came through the door, so i had to smile at the name of this thread.i remember his twinkling blue eyes and wide smile coming thru the door. he a\lways said one door doesn`t close but another door opens, so i am waiting for that door to open.i know i can`t go forward if i am always looking back. i take one day at a time and try to look forward to the next. it is difficult. sharon
  4. hello kathy, i`m sorry for your loss. i lost my husband in june. i know a little bit about how it feels when family and some friends are not supportive. i know they don`t understand and have many problems of their own. some of thier problems we wouldn`t understand or know the depth to which thier problems affect them. i am wondering around trying to find were i can get support for what i need also. this site is a very good place to start.also hospitals and va, hospice are good places to try.it is so important that you share your feelings. i will keep you in my prayers. sharon
  5. hi, today i felt like i was slipping back into the grief and burden again then, i read my previous thread and it was such a good reminder to love instead of grieve. its so hard to do but i will keep trying. sharon
  6. hi, today i had a thought. i can`t let my love fo my husband be clouded by grief. my grief is taking up the time i could beloving the memory of my husband.i have put myself on a schedule. bed by 10pm even if i lay there for sometime. up at 7:30am. i find thats the time i`m feeling tears and grief so i let them come. then i promise my self i will try to think of the love we had. i hope this works. i guess it worth a try.my prayers r for allof you. sharon
  7. dear chai, i am new to posting and this site. a little shy in expressing my feelings for fear of rejection, but i to feel like you do. i took care of my mother for almost 5 years. the last year she had lung cancer and died jan 12010. it was a difficult year for me and i lost time for me.i forgot who i was. then my husbands copd got worse and he difficulty doing things, but he was my rock when i had to take care of my mother. he was always there when i need a helping hand or just someone to talk to or respite from the course of cancer my mom was going thru. then on june 16 he had what is thought to be a stroke and then a fall were he hit his head in the bathroom. there i found him unconcios and not breathing i did cpr and he started to breathe. the emts came and took him tthe hospital there he progressively got worse and died. there was no good byes. i`m a nurse and took care of people all my life and now i feel like i don`t know how to take care of me, or who i am , just lost, without my best friend to help me because he is gone.i know now i must take time for me to heal and find myself. i just pray that god gives me the strenght to do so, and i will pray that he helps you. sharon
  8. i really felt uplifted by your post. i lost my husband to a severe stroke on june 16. if it wasn`t for my son and daughter i might not even know my name, but after your post i feel somewhat better and stronger. i thought i was crazy talking to my dead husband but now i know it is normal and maybe even good to do. i need to keep him in my heart we were together for 20 years and thought alike. i miss him terribly. sharon
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