TWhittle

Jester, Thank you so much for responding to my post. Your words were definately a comfort. I have been walking around completely lost. I have never experienced anything like this in my life, therefore, I have no idea what to expect. As the days go by I do have more of a "loosing control" type of feeling. But I'm just not ready to face all of this yet. I think I've coped with all of this by trying to be the strong one for everyone else. Giving them as much support as I can, that way I don't have to face "my" loss yet. Becky was not only my daughter she was my best friend. We looked so forward to sharing the new baby together. And I can totally understand how you felt when you lost your baby, (I am so sorry for your loss by the way) Becky was the same way. All she wanted in life was to be a wife and a mother and she was so very happy to be pregnant and expecting her first child. I know she wouldn't have it any other way. She would have given her life over and over again just so her child could live. Thank God it was not a situation that we as her family had to make that kind of choice or that she had to make that choice, but I know she loved her daughter that much. She would have made a great mother, and it hurts so much to know that she will never enjoy watching her baby grow up. It hurts even worse to know that my grandaughter will never know her mother the way that she should. But I have made a promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure Emma knows who her mother was and what kind of wonderful, loving woman she was. I know without a doubt that she is in heaven looking down on us and watching over us and I can't wait until the day I can see her again.

Not sure where to start, but I lost my 22 year old daughter 7 weeks ago this past Saturday. I still feel like I am walking around in a dream world. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on April 27, 2006 and died early morning April 29th. She died unexpectedly of a pulmonary embolism. She left behind an infant and a very young husband. I guess my question is, has anyone else suffered a loss like this and is it normal to walk around thinking its not real that its just a bad dream. I honestly don't think I have even begun the grieving process. I have shed tears, but not the way that I thought it would happen when you lose a child. Everyone one else in my family fell apart in the beginning, but I have some how held it all together. I am very frightened that it is going to hit me hard one day when I least expect it. When I think of her I can actually feel this wall come up, I guess to protect me from those feelings. It's like I just can't feel anything yet. It's hard to talk about this with anyone, because I just don't feel they understand.