Thank you kayc. No, I wont get rid of everything personal. No photos will be going and her wedding dress and a few other items of clothing will stay.
I am faced with a strange situation right now... My wife's mother moved in with us after her husband passed away 13 years ago. She lived with us for 10 years and then she passed away suddenly almost 3 years ago. My wife refused to get rid of - or change anything in the room that her mother stayed in. I guess she just wasn't ready to deal with her passing, but I finally convinced her right before she got sick to take some of her clothing out of the closet and at least make that room feasible for guests that might want to stay with us. So, that is what we did. Just the minimum of what we could get rid of to make that room a guest room again. Now I am faced with not only her mothers belongings in dresser drawers, ashes in an urn, photos, etc. But also facing my wife's things as well. The only immediate living relative my wife has left is her sister, so she will be getting the bulk of her mothers belongings, (and I suppose) many of my wife's things if she wants them.
My wife was somewhat reluctant to let go of things and I guess she was even a borderline hoarder to some extent. I think that is part of the reason I want to get rid of things quickly. Not only do I see my wife, but I still see her mother throughout my whole house.
They were inseparable when her mother was living, and at times it caused pains in our own marriage. Her mother was a very jealous and possessive person with my wife and it caused us many problems along the way in our marriage. At one point, I felt like our home wasn't ours anymore because she was there and taking charge of things...And my dear wife let her do that to some extent. I loved my wife every ounce of my being and I couldn't kick her mother out on the street. She couldn't support herself when her husband died, so I had no choice but to take her into our home.
Before her mother died, I told my wife that we need to try to get her mother to see how she was hurting our marriage. When we confronted her mother, she denied everything. She blamed us for our problems and couldn't see how anything she was doing was hurting us.
One morning on my way to work, I prayed to God to let me regain control over my home...Three days later my mother in law suddenly died! That was a huge blow to me and my dear wife even blamed me when her mother died in the ER that day. Thankfully, later she apologized and said she didn't mean saying that.
So, that is part of my story and I guess part of the reason I feel the way I do about wanting to get stuff out of sight. Sorry for babbling on. Thank you all for listening to my rant and my prayer is that we all will get healing and become whole again after losing a loved one. It is such a hard thing for me to deal with.
