My Millie girl was asalt and pepper mini schnauzer, her papered name was princess millineum ly mi, named for the year 2000 she was our princess and ly for my wife lynn and me mike, she was only 11&1/2 yrs old,, dhe had diabetes for 4 yrs but i monotered it used more of my test strips on her than myself and she was having no problems 6 weeks ago she became tired i called her lazy old girl, she didnt want to take our long walks and didnt exert herself playing, she was to the vet numerous times he just blamed it on her getting older, on the 25th she had been off her food for several days i took her in she was dehydrated received fluids and vitamin shots brought her home and on the 25 she was the old millie happy and my old girl, on the 26 when she stood up in bed shook to wake me like always she was breathing at a super pace, i took her in the dr. said her heart murmor was worse and she sounded as if she was getting fluid around her heart, i gave her to the assistant she looked at me with those beautiful eyes and i said dadddy will be back in the morning, at 750 on the 27 the dr called and said you need to come,,now, we only live about 5 minutes away we were there by 8am, My Millie was unconsious on the table with oxygen going still breathing so quickly my wife and i petted her i talked to he /sobbing so hard, she was unresponsive she had had a heart attack and probably a stroke,i cried told her she was going to go chase squirrels and rabbits, told the dr to give it to her,, she died in my arms,, i brought her home she voided all over me but i didnt care my wife drove while i held her, we brought her in the house our 3 yr old mini schnauzer Beth all excited to see us came running over, i let her see Millie she stopped being happy sniffed her and went and sat down and looked, i held her in our chair then gave her to the wife ,went out back where she loved to roll in the grass and dug her grave,,we layed her on her sheepskin i covered her with my sweat soaked shirt so she could smell her daddy forever layed her frisbee in and we covered her , it took 5 days before i made her marker,, im 60yrs old have been in war seen buddies killed lost my mom and friends but i cant stop crying and grieving over her,, when does it get better, did i somehow let her down,, God if he exisits ignored my rare talk with him to make her well on that last night when she was alone in a cage at the vet,, did she feel abandoned and scared,, my wife says it will get better but i hurt so much so much did she know dad had been with her at the end i hope so
