Hi Rosie,
I've never posted here before, but read your words and wanted to offer some comfort.
I lost my mum when I was 16 in 1995, and my dad when I was 20 in 1999. I grieved in bits and pieces up until 2003, then was floored by panic and anxiety ( I didn't relate it to them...d'oh)...the truth for me came out in therapy, and it was a while before I felt 'normal' again...BUT
Grief, in that how you are feeling, can never be wrong...it's such a strange animal and can come out sideways masquerading as all sorts of peculiar emotions that seem utterly unrelated. When we lose our parents we lose something that can't be replaced, but that's not to say life can't be absolutely fulfilling and utterly wondrous again - it will be. I still struggle with the loneliness, that can't be filled with others how ever much I try to shove them in the parent-shaped hole I have, we have. The hole can be worked around, but it belongs to the part of us that is son/daughter I think. But we have this in common, all of us here in some capacity. We all are learning to live without certain people with us, and unless something magical happens and eternal life is discovered, everyone will at some time have a hole somewhere that they have to figure out.
Happiness will find you, and you may learn an awful lot about yourself. The main thing I figured out was how to love me...it's more challenging than I thought!
I hope this has been of some help...I feel for you and all of us who know loss.
With many best wishes,
Becci
