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slm12811

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Everything posted by slm12811

  1. i don't think its weird. i still have the whole last convo of text messages from like 2 months worth. my new phone deleted it and i just about broke down, glad i had it saved on my older phone as well. he wouldn't leave messages all that often and i didn't have any voice mails to save, but i'm glad i still have a convo to read, as hard as it is.
  2. did anyone else have to make final decisions (like where their family member/loved one went to)? i was my dad's power of attorney, both medical and general, and making some of those decisions were the hardest ones i've ever made. i'm only 22, but have more knowledge in the medical feild than alot of people my age who aren't working in it themselves. the hardest part was to move him from in-patient hospice to a skilled nursing facility for long term care. medically he was very hard to place and alot of places rejected him from everything he needed. i finally found a place which seemed to be a really good fit for his respiratory needs, but that place turned out to be nothing more than a NIGHTMARE! now, i feel guilty for placing him there and not doing more to get him out of there. he was stable before he moved there nov 1, and after the move things went downhill FAST. he had a "unwitnessed fall" nov 11, and became unresponsive. was moved to the emergency room @ the hospital, and after spending the weekend there was discharged back to the facility (i was told we had no other choice but to send him back), so he went back on the 13th and continued to decline, fast. noone communicated with me or would listen to my concerns until dec 7th when the facility told me we "HE NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HOSPICE". so i got him back to in-patient hospice around 730 that nite, and 948pm on the 8th he passed. i feel awful, even though i did everything i could and even more than people were liking me to do, but i still feel there was more i could have done for him, or something that would have worked better for placement.
  3. its been a month already, and i still can't believe it. really doesn't seem possible to already have been that long.

  4. similar, but not quite exactly what you went thru. i found it hard to move out of my parents house and in with a boyfriend, though both of my parents were still here at the time, they had just been recently divorced. i felt super bad leaving her there, we are really close. it was a hard move out, needless to say things didn't work out with him and i but my mom & i still talked everyday- for the most part, made it easier, and getting to see her after not for a while was that much better. i hope things get easier with your move, and you're eventually able to get excited about your new house! best of luck to you.
  5. daddy's cowgirl- how did you get through your first few weeks/months? i too just lost my dad to lung cancer, he was only 58 as well. he was a smoker yes, but there is a genetic link to lung cancer in our family as well. is there anything that really helped you to cope with your loss? any replies would be greatly appreciated.
  6. i lost my dad 12-8-11 and it was a VERY rough road to say the least. he went from being okay, to completely dependent on others' help, being in the hospital/hospice/long term nursing care for the last 5 months of his life. it was a VERY draining time and i fought to be his voice throughout the whole time. people looked at me as a young person with little to no experience and didn't take what i said seriously. i later found out that things i had said to the medical people that were SUPPOSED to be helping us, was used against both him and i instead of being any help. now seeing that he's gone and i could really use someone to talk to, i'm very leery of saying things to others as i don't want anything more used against me. its VERY hard to speak to people who aren't direct family and are going through this as well, and to trust that they are actually going to help you. maybe one day i will post more of our story, but for now i'll see how this goes.
  7. Dawn, i can understand how hard it was for you to watch her go through that. my dad had cancer, but for the last 5 weeks he went from 127pds to 97pds. he really didn't eat very much at all for the last few weeks and wasn't drinking much either. the whole journey was hard to watch, but the last 5 months when things went from him being okay & "normal" for him to him being completely dependent on others and in the hospital/hospice/long term nursing care was so hard.
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