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Angelabyrne

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Everything posted by Angelabyrne

  1. It's 2AM in PA and I can't sleep. I keep going over and over in my head how my dad wanted to be here for his grandkids, HOw he loved life, how's he's in that horrible hospice just wanting to come home. I keep seeing his sick face. I have to take care of my 4, 3, and 2 yr old in the morning and I need to get some sleep. God help me get through this
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  3. THank you so very much for your kindness and understanding. You seem to understand how I feel more than his wife. I really need that right now. The thing is he is better than he was 3 days ago. That's why I would like to at least try to bring him home. She keeps saying we'll see how it goes. She's got cancer too by the way. And I think I will take your advice and speak to the hospice nurse or the dr. Thank you so much for helping me in what seems to be a hopeless situation for me. Would it be okay to come back and keep you posted on my situation? Sincerely, Angel
  4. 3 mths ago my father was diagnosed w lung cancer. The chemo made him so sick-it was horrible. Last week I took him to his appointment and he walked to the office. 3 days ago he was put in hospice. I often wonder if they hadn't kept up the chemo would he have been cut down so fast. I'm having feelings of major resentment against his wife. My parents were divorced about 20 yrs ago. They had an affair-she knew he had a wife and 5 children. He left my mother. After many years and my 1st child my dad asked me if she could come over and see the baby. I have never spoken to her. He said, "Do it for me." I did. I decided to forgive and let her in my life. I now have 3 beautiful children and she's been a small part of our life. Anyway, I want to take him home but she's his wife. She's insisting he stay where he is. I'm angry. I hate her and all the feelings of resentment are surfacing. I hate that she's his wife, that my sisters and my mom can't be with him as a family. It's like he's got this other family and they're calling the shots. I hate that she doesn't even call me to see how I am or maybe discuss why she's leaving him there. She had a nurse call me and leave a message on my phone that my dad's where he needs to be right now. The pain is like nothing I've ever experienced. I've been very lucky and never really lost anyone close to me. What is making it harder he retired a few years ago. He always loved the guitar so he learned to play, quite well too. It became his hobby. He bought guitars, played all the time, and even made a guitar room in his house. He loves his grandchildren so much. He quit smoking saying I want to be here a long time for my grandkids. That's what's killing me the most that he's only 67 and lived life-he loved life. He wasn't ready. Why-why-why!!!! NOw I go to the hospital every day and watch him suffer and ask me why he's there he wants to go home. I lie and tell him he's coming home with me soon. I’m convinced if he was w my mother he would be home and we would be taking care of him. How do I deal w her leaving him there when I want to take care of him? His wife's got cancer too. Can I override her if she's too sick to take care of him? Any words would be appreciated
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