JKC

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. It's indescribable and all I can offer is to seek out things that remind you of how much he loved you. Do enough of those things and maybe some small comfort will come to you. Take care of yourself and ask for help from your good friends.

Sorry you had a lonely - alone - birthday. Wishing you a belated happy birthday - mine "first" one is coming up in March. I dread it.

I am so glad to read from someone who is 2 years out in the grieving process. I thought I was "turning a corner" and definitely experiencing a "shift" in the intensity of my pain. But last night and this morning it felt like he died last week instead of 9 months ago. I'm really down today. But I'm happy to know that someone (MZM in South Africa) is finding happiness and love. Peace, JKC

It is so hard. My husband had difficulty at first talking about the inevitable things....treatment, hospice, etc. I would encourage him by saying how I felt and then asking him to do the same whenever he could. If you are fairly sure that he will lose his voice, you may want to make some videotapes and ask him if he's willing to make a tape just for you of him talking to you. The videotapes that my husband made for me were priceless and helped me get through some very dark times. Good luck - take care of yourself.