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widower

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About widower

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    USA

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  • Date of Death
    1
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    since they were horrible, probably best not to be specific

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  1. With the possible exception of Austin, those places are not exactly booming economies either......frankly Chicago, being so huge, is probably one of the best places you could be job-wise, even more so if you're feeling unsure of your career direction. I think the 1 yr (ish....ballpark of course) advice is good, esp as you own a place vs renting. Moving is never fun, but doing it in middle age harder still...and in circumstances like this, even more so...so I would be very cautious. As you said, what if you move and hate it there? Another move? How much can you endure bouncing around?? Beware the "grass is greener on the other side" delusion. Maybe it is best to move on sooner or later, but IMO based on what you've said, you're better off at least in the short term to stand pat. The LAST thing you need is more upheaval in your life, esp as your loss hasn't been that long ago, relatively speaking. There is no quick fix, including moving. Just IMO
  2. Loss of back leg use is common in older, declining dogs, and typically a sign the end is - or more to your point, should - be near. Most people don't realize that this is necessary for most dogs (to be put to sleep ie the humane thing to do); they don't conveniently get old and then die peacefully in their sleep. I will always regret we did not put our (well, her) last dog to sleep sooner, and largely that was my fault; I kept talking her out of it, saying don't you think he'd rather live than not, even if it's difficult etc - I had us both convinced, and that poor dog suffered because of it. I vow not to do that with this one, who is getting up there, but it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done. He has been the ONLY one who was there for me every step of the way in my loss. He has no idea how huge he has been to me.
  3. http://www.nlmsf.org/deborah-d-jones-angel-page.html I can't believe how long it's been already. In fact there's still a part of me that can't believe any of this is real, as ridiculous as that sounds. I only miss you more each day. And nobody sees it. With rare exception, no one has seen all the tears, the anguish, the sleepless nights, the rage...the massive darkness your loss has thrown on my life. But to some extent, I probably I have that coming, so that isn't what gets me the most. What gets me is that YOU didn't deserve ANY of this. And I hate life for that cruelty. When I think of all you went through, so bravely battled and endured, only to lose in the end.....I feel so angry, so frustrated that I couldn't stop it. I can only hope you're still out there, somehow; you still being "out there" and well and happy is the only thing that seems logical or just. And that I'll see you again - sometimes that hope is all I have. I love you Deb. Please be waiting for me. And forgive the many, many ways I was lacking, if you can, though I don't deserve that either. Merry Christmas.
  4. I keep forgetting to ask my vet how big of a deal this is........and just missed a chance when I picked up heartworm pills Maybe I'll just call. PS speaking of those pills, I suggest "Iverheart Max" over Heartguard - they cost less (at least here) and give broader protection.
  5. From what I gather you're supposed to do it regularly. I don't. But he gets his share of milkbones and rawhides and his teeth seem to be fine, so a once in a great while thing I figure is enough. Weird isn't it?
  6. Thx Marsha. I'm afraid my "stoic-ness" is much more extreme though. I haven't cried for her, not mourning for her, not even really thinking of her esp more these days. It's annoying, puzzling, and shameful. Hopefully it'll be something I figure out..
  7. Hey getting back to that food advisor site - it has a thing you can subscribe to if a product is recalled (just happened the other day) - thx again for the site!
  8. I'm sorry things aren't going well. My best to you and her in this most difficult time...
  9. I appreciate both of your replies. Marty, of all the factors you mentioned, most are the same, and therefore not likely a factor w/this. The obvious exception is that we weren't close, but again it's not like we had heated disagreements/etc...and for crying out loud she was my sister. Yes I'm well aware grief isn't something you 'get over' (in fact I've pointed this out to others). And it's not aggravating my pre-existing grief, as it's not like that got worse. It was there before, still there now, not esp different. All good thoughts though, don't get me wrong. I don't know. Something I'll have to figure out I guess. Just very odd, and frankly frustrating.
  10. How about putting the visiting dog's bowls in a diff room?
  11. That reminds me, he hasn't had "Frosty Paws" in a long time, I might get him some for the holidays
  12. Ah got ya, no my fault, should have read it. I think - as with people - the key is moderation. I'm not above giving mine little bits of something I'm having, but the key is "little bits." He's happy because he feels like he's getting something, but in reality it's scarcely a bite of food. And I watch what it is - typically a small piece of cheese etc. In fact I advise being VERY careful what "people food" you do give a dog, even small amounts - chocolate isn't the only thing that can be harmful or even fatal! And it can vary from breed to breed (ham for example can be fatal to certain breeds even in tiny amounts, but not others).
  13. ? Wow that sounds like something I'd make for family or guests, not a pet. I love my dog a lot, but there is no way I'd feed an actual "Christmas dinner" to him - besides he's happy to get a gift (typically some kind of fancy rawhide or treat).
  14. widower

    Coping With The Holidays

    I'll be going "home" (parents' house). I love them and my family, but frankly I hate it. They are good people, but we wrote the book on dysfunctional and it's just hard in a lot of ways (that, a long lonely drive alone there and back, etc etc etc). Frankly I hate Christmas with the strength of 1,000 suns. If I could skip from about Halloween to Easter every year I'd do it and rejoice in my fortune at being able to do so.
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