Mandime

I don't have a clue how I'm still here three years on, I only know that he was the nicest funniest person I ever met An so quickly after we got together I lost him an Im findin it progressively harder an harder to get through each day Without my love....my heart is shattered an no matter how hard I look I can't seem to find anything to stick it back together .

My other half died in from suddenly in hospital 3 years ago in April.everyday is excruciating, I find it's literally a struggle just to get through each day. I was only24 wen he passed after a brief illness(he was38) I swear when he passed I felt my heart rip into pieces an I'm Not entirely sure how I'm still here.... Wen I try to sleep at night, I close my eyes an all I can see is him dyin over an over again, It feels like I'm bein tortured. this man gave me something I'd never had before:self confidence an self worth... Also id alway believed That people where exaggerating wen try spoke of wat feels like electricity Surging through them just at a slight touch.i never believed in soulmates either.untill I met him very quickly I felt the surge of electricity an knew we were ment to be! An after just Havin him for a few short months he was torn Away from me an I feel empty an lost...wen people ask me how long we were Together my answer is not long enough it feels like ov been ripped off somehow It feels very wrong that we only got a few month with each other.i still love him as much today As I did the moment we met....my only comfort is that I told him everyday how happy he made me An how much I love him...but yet I find my most frequent thought is that I wish I could've actually died too Rather than it just feelin like I did. I feel like I'm missin a part of my soul. I never used to cry now it's pretty much all I do...if I talk to my friends I can tell it just makes them uncomfortable So I stop...I don't think I can ever get past this an feel as if I'm now just waitin till my life ends too