Vickie, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and what you're going through. My husband, Michael, died here in our home in my arms on April 6th this year from esophageal cancer. I don't really have anyone to push away. The only people in my life right now are my disabled Father and elderly Aunt. I'm sort of a caretaker for both of them. They don't even like me to mention Mike and they get upset if they see me cry (something I am still doing many times every day) I have rheumatoid arthritis and am unable to work right now. That's probably a good thing since I can't think or concentrate anyway. You are so right when you say "it's so hard to sweep all of that away in your brain and start over." Any suggestions from anyone who has experienced difficulty sleeping? I think I'm beginning to realize I'm not going to make it through this...period. Healing Thoughts and Blessings to Vickie and all of you. saraz
