My mother committed suicide three and a half weeks ago. To people outside I seem to be handling it really well, I'm back in work and seem fairly normal. However I just don't seem to be able to deal with it. My mind stops me from focusing on what has happened. I keep thinking I will wake up and it won't have happened, I can't cry and I desperately want to because I'm really scared the feelings will come and overwhelm me. We were really close and I just can't believe she is gone and it's like my mind won't allow me to grieve and to feel, I don't know what to do.
