I can't believe that tomorrow will be a week that i had to put my Benji boy down. It feels like i just had him here with me yesterday. It would have also been his 16th Birthday. He was the only one who made me feel better through all the hard times. and now when i walk through the door and don't see his smiling face it breaks my heart. I know I know he's resting in peace now but i can't fathom the idea of me never seeing him again in physical form. They don't tell you this or warn you when you get a loving loyal companion, how hard it is to say good bye. I made the decision to put him to sleep. He had kidney failure and was doing fine after his treatment on feb 22nd had him for a full month as healthy as ever. I swore he had another couple of good months ahead of him. But then on march 22 a month later i had came back from school and found him under the dinner table with his head tilted to one side. and when he stood up he was going in circles. I guessed he had a stroke. I stayed with him all night long till the morning and took him to the vet. the vet dr said there was no possible way to determine whether or not he had a stroke unless they did an MRI but not even then. He also said that it could be vestibular disease and that he should stay there for 72hrs receive treatment and see if he improves.. so i did just that but on the 2nd day i knew in my heart that he wasn't going to come out of this. he was hooked on IV's and a catheter and i knew it was his time because he wasn't eating or drinking at that point. I could see in his eyes that he no longer had the fight in him.. So the next day after 72hrs I spent two hrs with him and put him down.. while being there it was one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life. I did not cry and i held him told him it was okay that he didn't have to fight anymore and that everything would be okay and not to be scared that he was going to doggy heaven.. He died with his eyes open.. And i stayed there for a min or two told him his last goodbyes.. and covered him with his favorite superman blanket and teddy bear.. After i left i broke down outside. my heart never hurt has never hurt so much in my life. i feel empty without him..I lost my best friend on March 25th 2012 at 7:55pm...I got his ashes on the 28th.. the hardest part of the day for me is when i wake up and go to sleep...
