sherryann

SO I see how much people do care on this sight. Not very much. I have been dealing with some serious grief and reaching out for help and I am not seeing where this is the place. Think I will move on.

Raindrop, I sure feel what you have been through. I am going through that now. People who I thought where my friends when I needed them especially with the loss of my Wonderful Sister in law and a sounding board in my life. When I want to share how I feel I can because they just all walk away but when they loose someone they expect us to be there for them. This is one reason why I dont have many friends. Every battle that my husband and I have had to go through it alone. My husband has lost 1 brother and 2 sisters in 7 yrs and his brother died on his mothers birthday. All this is really hard because because i know of other people that have gotten alot more support after losing someone then we have. We just fight alone and it is wrong.

I did that when my Sister in law passed away. I still want to go to the phone and just hear her voice and talk. I do though journal and sometimes that helps because I write to her as if she was in the room. It is hard when you cant here there voice and want to so badly.

Where to I begin. Bernice started getting sick in November and got worse in December. It was so bad that my husband and I drove to her house in PA and took her to the emergency room the next morning. They did a biopsy on her the next day and it shoewed no cancer so they thought it was female related and she was going to have a hysterectomy well that all changed when they went in the urologist did not find cancer but when the OB/GYN who was using robotics she found the cancer and the urologist took out some of her bladder and they thought they got all the cancer. Well she was recovering but then things started to get bad again and my husband and I where trying to get her into John Hopkins for Chemo because that is where she wanted to go for Chemo. Well she was to weak to go for Chemo and She had a very rare form of cancer that was very aggressive and she passed away on 3/10/2012. I miss her really bad. She and I where really close we where more like sisters and my best friend. We talked on the phone every day for almost 5 years and I miss that we always talked in the evening and on weekends. There are times that I want to cry but fight back the tears. I am dealing with alot of grief right now because not only did my sister in law pass away, but a good friend of mine her newborn grandson passed away, and then a former pastor's wife of mine passed away and my Pastor's father passed away. So there is alot going on. I am really having a hard time dealing with all of this. I still find it hard to believe that my sister in law is gone, but she is. It feels like someon ripped a whole out of my heart and there is a major void there.