Beanimous

I myself didn't take time off after the passing of my parents, when my mother passed away, I was 4 months pregnant, I didn't take time off work, I came home from work every night crying for hours, and it lasted for weeks. When my father die six months after my mum die, I was busy nursing my infant son, I didn't have the time to grief, and soon after that I went straight back to work. Looking back, I should have take time off to grief. I didn't know then, but I do know now, there is no escaping grief. It will catch up with you when you are least expected. My Dad is a quiet guy, he does not say much, but I always understood him. My dad was 71 when he passed, even at 71 years of age, he still refuse to let me carry a small grocery bag when I went shopping with him. In his eye, I am still his little girl, even though I was a full grown women of 34. My Dad, the old fashioned silent type that he is, never said he loves me, but I can feel his love just the same, even 4 years after he is gone, I can still feel his love in me. I miss my father's twinkle in his eyes when we were both excited about the first bloom in spring, the shiny beetle in the garden, the beautiful pupa that housed a black and white butterfly. I missed that twinkle so much, and just the other day, I saw the same twinkle in my 3.5 years old son's eye. When My son was looking at a moth, it brought tears to my eyes, I realized my father never left, the twinkle is still in me and my son. I miss you Papa! I will always miss you!

This is another poem I found through the Esdeer website, which i absolutely love and helped me through some difficult days A Grief Blessing May the sun bring you new energy every day, bringing light into the darkness of your soul May the moon softly restore you by night bathing you in the glow of restful sleep and peaceful dreams May the rain wash away your worries, and cleanse the hurt that sits in your heart May the breeze blow new strength into your being, and may you believe in the courage of yourself May you walk gently through the world, keeping your loved one with you always Knowing that you are never parted in the beating of your heart.

Manquer I am so sorry for you lost. I lost my mum to cancer 4 years ago, and I lost my dad 6 months after my mum die, he die of heart attack in his sleep. I thought I had grieved for them, I cried for weeks, but 4 years later, I could not sleep at night, having bad panic attacks, anxiety and paranoia. Me and my therapist eventually found out I had delayed grief. And I am just beginning to grief for the loss of my parents. I have not had a single dry eyes day for the past two weeks, I listened to sad songs and just cry. And crying is cleansing, believe me. I am 38, and most of my friends have not lost their parents, I felt very alone in my grief, too. I may not have been long in my grief journey, but I have learnt that grief is there to help us heal. It is painful, heart wrenching and sometimes it felt like you are losing yourself, but it is actually helping and teaching you about healing and growth. I learnt a lot about myself through this grief journey, and I learnt that my anxiety (which I dread as it is immensely uncomfortable), is about suppressed emotions (like a bottled-up emotion bottle ready to burst). If I let it out, if i cry it out, it's gone. It will come back, and I will drain it again, and I trust one day the emotion bottle will be drained completely. Grief triggered all sort of emotions, and you sometimes don't quite feel yourself, but I want to assure you it is all normal. It is all grief. Find a friend who is understanding, and just talk and cry it out, or talk to a therapist, who can give you a helping hand when you need one. Or write to this site, we all been through it and will be here for you. I processed a lot of my grief by reading about other people's post on this site, and I write about my mum and dad and have the good old fashion cry. Grief will take as long as it takes, don't rush it, and let the flow take you. I read this poem from a site I can not recall, it had really touched me and I carried it around with me in my wallet and read it everynight. Hope it will help you too. I will come to you in your sleep And lie awhile next to your gentle breath I lay my head down next to yours and feel the beat of the heart that's broken. I feel the ache within you and gently breathe life back into your hurt I give you my love, I give you my heart and I leave you with hope And when you awake, you know not how But your life has been touched by the invisible presence of love I will come to you in your sleep and rest with you awhile. © Maureen Hunter