I lost my stepdad about 8 months ago.....he was 85 and not in very good health.......he had even expressed that he felt "ready" to go.........so I don't mourn the passing deeply I don't think, it's just the horrible day to day anxiety I experience......I have had to call into work sick many times becasue of it......it just eats me up......like I did something wrong......funny, there's a sense of guilt attached to my feelings..........he and I had a a good realtionship and I always wished him well.....so I don't know where any guilt would be coming from........my main duty is to suppport my Mom which I don't think I have done a very good job of becasue of this crippling anxiety........my doc has me on tranquilzers even.........I know it's probably just a normal reaction, but it still is very difficult..........I want the anxiety to go away so I can be somewhat comforatable in mhy own skin again!!!
