I lost my mother two days ago. She fractured her hip about 6 weeks ago. She was only 73. Due to her advanced dementia we elected not to do the surgery. We were told she may not recover and might be in pain even longer. We thought we were electing for a wheelchair and possibly a walker. Little did we know we were choosing her death. After her injury she would refuse to eat or drink. At first she ate/drank very little, but began to refuse all together and lose her ability to swallow. Two weeks ago we were given the option of a feeding tube. We said no, then yes, then finally no because she was basically nonresponsive and her quality of life was zero. Little did we know it would take another two weeks without any food or water before finally dying an uncomfortable miserable death. I feel like I basically chose to starve my mother. I know she was miserable before, but I had to sit next to her bed and watch her for days and days. There was no peaceful look on her face, no assurance she is in heaven although I prayed and prayed for that. After watching her we began to pray that God would just take her, but he let it drag on and on.
I can't get the images of her dying out of my mind. I have noone to talk to about any of this because noone stops by or comes by, nor did they when I sat by her bedside. Isn't that what friends should do? There were a handful of people that stopped by, but none of whom I would consider my close friends. My husband is a good physical help and did stay with me, but how do I deal with the emotional part of all this?
