Hello everyone,
Firstly if you here it means you are somehow grieving. To anyone who reads this, I am sorry for your loss.
I am here as I lost my mum very suddenly on the 19th of April this year, I also lost my dad to cancer 11 years ago.
The day after loosing my mum I felt like a different person, I felt like I had been re-plotted on a graph, like my whole
world had changed. I have read some of your moving posts and I am also experiencing panic attacks. I attempted to go back to work after only
two weeks and had a massive panic attack while at work, shortly after my doctor suggested I take more time off.
I also feel very anxious all the time, I worry constantly about everything and worry about how I am going to cope with everyday life when I do eventually get back to work.
My family live quite far away on both sides and my fathers side have not even phoned to see if im ok, just one cousin. My mums side have been at the other end of the phone
but I appear to be taking all their comments as negative and my request for help with clearing the house has fallen on deaf ears. I am trying to do everything on my own.
I keep trying to remind myself that I am not alone as I have had friends over and people calling to see how I am, but can't help feeling so lost at the moment. I take everything people
say the wrong way and repeat in my head things people have said with anger sometimes, for example a friend yesterday said " Oh what a great life you lead" as im not working at the moment!
I try to not be too sensitive as people can't go around treading on egg shells, but its very hard sometimes. I am also trying to remind myself that unless you have lost someone close you could
never understand. I have now lost both my parents, and its the most horrible feeling in the world. I also think its sometimes that people don' think before they speak. Oh I don't know. Has anyone else
experienced this?
It has only been a month and a half, nearly two since my mum has passed away but I feel that I can't really talk about how I feel to anyone, and sometimes get
the feeling like I am a burden on people. I spoke with a councillor the other day and am arranging some help for myself. I feel there is so much I need to say but get the
feeling people just don't want to listen. I am only 32 and have no partner, (sometimes I think this is a good thing as I can only cope with dealing with myself a the the moment)
I was just wondering if anyone else was in this situation? If there is anyone out there who is I would love to hear from you.
Stay strong everyone
x
