enna

The pain of losing your mother comes through clearly. I am sorry for your loss. I am one who believes in journaling (writing down my thoughts) and seeking good grief counseling when needed. People who come here know the pain of loss. No one gives advice or tries to 'fix' us. We really are not broken. We are grieving. It is important that we are heard and this place does hear what we are saying. Anne

But not for the reason you had to come...

To all those who find themselves here tonight my wish for you is to have a blessed holiday. However, you may be celebrating I hope you find love and peace as you move through the old year to a new year. We gather here among kindred spirits who know the pain of loss. We stand silent knowing that words give us only a temporary reprieve. Simple gifts help us live this new life that none of us asked for.

Ideas that could help... https://griefcompass.com/2015/12/28/the-12-days-of-holiday-grief/

I don't know why I laughed at this one...

Sometimes we just need to take a break and laugh. It does work.

Dear Grieving Girl, I am so sorry that you are hurting and struggling right now. You have had many losses in such a very short time. You are so young to have lost your mum and for your children to have lost their grandma. You ask how you can start to live again and I don't have an answer for you but I can tell you that for all the losses I have had in my life up to now I live hour to hour and let that be enough. I found that after those first few years of numbness I started to create memories ~ memories that even brought a smile to my face. Little things like cooking favorite holiday dishes or planting a tree in memory of my beloved Benji, a sweet Shipperke-Poodle, who died in too short a time after I rescued him. I journal and read and find out what is normal in grief. I allow the tears to come. I now try to honor my feelings and accept that it is OK to Not Be OK. We here listen and welcome you. It is good to share how we are or are not doing on this painful grief journey. We don't have answers for you but we are here to listen and support you. Sharing has made my grief more bearable. Anne

Gratefulness is that fullness of life for which we are all thirsting. BR. DAVID STEINDL-RAST

Some things we have to do alone but there are other things that we know we are really not alone. When we reach out there are always others who are here to help us.

Calming, peaceful ~ great visualizations.

"Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of your reality is not their reality." ― Shannon L. Alder

http://www.griefincommon.com/blog/holiday-grief/

What a perfect webinar tonight. I love the ten tips that were talked about. For me, ‘Self Compassion’ is so important. I think we all forget to think of ourselves during this time. We are so conscious of thinking about all that has to be done that we don’t allow ourselves some self-love. Hugs are good too. The webinar focuses on sibling loss but it really is about any loss. Many of us are without our significant others or our parents or our special pets that will not be with us for the first time. It’s so important to do what’s right for each of us. There is no right way to do things during the holidays. This season I’ll be missing my granddog, Fred, who was always a center of any celebrations. He was the absolute most perfect Beagle. Both my Jim and I spent many days, and weeks over the thirteen years of Fred’s life when the kids had to travel. He was such a part of our family. I will so miss him.

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I am glad that you have found this place. And we know that it does not matter how long our loss has been for we will always miss our beloved ones. Here you do not wallow for we know and understand what you are going through. Thank you for your story and know that those who are here listen. I am glad you are able to tell your story. Anne

e. e. cummings ~ a favorite of mine

Good news. Butch is home from the hospital. Little Man is very happy to see him. I'm so glad you are home. Go slow and know we are with you. Anne

Thanks, Gwen, I think most of us know that special days are mostly not so special for those of us who have lost a significant other. I now do for myself when these days come around. It is good to focus on being ‘worth it’ when I indulge in self-care. Those first years are so hard to see beyond our loss. Today it is somewhat better for me but it has been over five years since my Jim died. I love all the sweets especially when there is chocolate involved! Wine and chocolate go so good together. Marty knows my weakness for chocolate but to be honest about it she is the leader in chocolate addiction! That is how she finds the perfect cakes for us. Anne

Oh, Kay, Thank you. I am so full of all the cake I've been sent. I love these special days. We are so blessed to have this safe place to come and share our thoughts and pain. Those who come here understand. Nothing is or will be the same but we find ways to move through our now lives. Anne

How nice of you to remember me on my special day. It was a wonderful day. Dinner with friends. Tomorrow lunch with a few girlfriends and then I'll treat myself to a pedicure/manicure. Anne

Some songs just have special meaning...this one is a favorite one of mine.

One Mindful Day at a Time: 365 meditations for living in the now by Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D A perfect book to have for the New Year and one can’t go wrong with the writings of Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. How perfect to have a book that will guide us on a daily journey to live in the now. Mine is on the way.

Signed up. I'm always looking for ways to simplify things in my life. I really like what Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heldi Horsley do with their webinars. Always something to take away.

Oh, I really like the quote above, Marty.

Great discussion. I was in college studying theology before I started to change my image of God as a protector and loving Father. It took me years to realize that God does not let bad things happen. It is rather a part of life. It is up to me to accept that when something bad happens it is not God’s fault. I was first introduced to Terri Daniels when my dog Benji died. I kept asking why and even gave God a piece of my mind for taking him away so soon after I adopted him after my beloved Jim died. For a while, I thought it was God punishing me until I remember that God does not allow bad things to happen. Thanks for finding this video, Marty.