enna

enna

May 25, 2012 ~ 8 years Ago ~ I lost my spouse, the love of my life, after forty years of marriage. enna

Once again this site continues to be recognized as one of the BEST. We continue to be so fortunate to have this site. https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-grief-support-groups-4842333 Anne

Oh Robert, I am so sorry to hear that you had to 'put down' your precious Chloe. I am sure you did all you could do for her and that your love for her shows in your note. I am so glad she was not in any pain. I think when we lose a special pet it cracks part of our heart. And it hurts so much. We never really know when the time is right but as you said it was the right thing to do and for your Chloe I know it was. To love so deeply hurts. And having lost a few very special pets I understand that saying goodbye is so hard. Do you have a picture that you would want to share? Sending hugs to you. Anne

What a beautiful thought, Kay. Thank you for it. Anne

This continues to be the best "grief sanctuary" Steve. You and Patty are always in my thoughts and prayers. Life does keep all of us very busy. Know that I keep you and Patty forever in my heart. 💜How fortunate we are to have forever friends. Anne

I have three recommendations to perhaps add to our grief bibliography page: Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott ~ she is so down to earth and this book is one to pick up and read more than once. Living Beautifully by Pema Chödrön is a wonderful book ~ she writes from the heart. And last ~ Gary Roe just wrote another book called: Comfort for the Grieving Adult Child's Heart - Hope and Healing After Losing Your Parent This book is available now and a few of us received copies earlier and read and wrote recommendations on Good Reads and Amazon. This is one book that will help the grieving heart of those who have lost a parent. In my opinion, reading and listening to music helps us to move through our grief.

I really like Enya -

TED talks worth listening to... https://3dsuccess.org/best-ted-talks-for-anxiety/ The importance of slowing down.

My wish for all our forum members: May you all focus on what this holiday means to you this year. I do not tell people to have a Happy holiday because for most of us “happy” is not in our vocabulary these days. We are all in different places with our grief. My wish for each one of you is to enter your grief, take position of it, allow it to be whatever it is for you at this time. Do not push it back. I think that allowing the pain to enter your soul will help you in dealing with your grief. Do not let others tell you to move on. You will move through your grief at your own pace. Grief has no time limit. No matter how you celebrate during this time of year remember it is a time for new beginnings. I am so relieved to see that death is being accepted more today than it ever has. People are not afraid to talk about their grief today. A loss is a loss and the more love that was in the picture the harder that loss will be for each one of us. The longer we have lived the more we will face death. Some people are learning what death means to them when they lose someone close to them at an early age. Those of us who have lived longer will continue to lose our loved ones. When one loses a family pet it affects us deeply. It does not matter if a loss is about a relationship, a parent or grandparent or a child or sibling or a spouse ~ loss is loss. I would like to take this moment to Thank you, Marty, for giving us a safe place to be with our grief. We find that the people who come here don’t hurry us along. Those who come to this site seek to understand what grief is and we are allowed to be in our grief. This is a gift. Happy Holidays, Anne

I am so happy for you. I'm smiling.

Good Morning Everyone, Seven years and seven months and it seems like only yesterday at times and at other times it seems like an eternity. My beloved Jim left this earth on May 25th in 2012. We had a long period of illness before he died but his wish was fulfilled as all he wanted was to die peacefully in his home. This was possible because he did not need to be hospitalized and Hospice of the Valley in AZ helped in his transition from this life to the next. I remain ever grateful for the help HOV did for our family. Their mission was to take care of my Jim and also to care for our family. I remain ever thankful for them. Our HOV Team did everything that we were told they would do. My journey since then has been one of ups and downs as it is with so many who have lost loved ones over the years. I did not know what the term “grief is hard work” meant until I started my journey. Today I know that it is my responsibility to face the grief of living without my Jim here. Every day I wake up knowing that without warning I could be hit with that awful feeling of living my life without Jim at my side. Some days are OK, and some days are not. When the days are not good ones, I give time to sit with my grief and allow it to take its course. At first it was so depressing but gradually it became less so. My grief never goes away, but it no longer consumes me. I have so many people to be grateful to who never let me do this alone. It is my journey, but I have never felt alone. The longer one is here at this site the more one realizes how important a site like this one is. Thank you, Marty, and all those who have supported me in the past as I continue doing the work of grief. I do not frequent this web site as I did in my early grief, but I always come back to see how others are doing. I think I have more compassion for those in early grief. I take advantage of the resources here and I so appreciate that this site is not covered with ads. Anne

I am so sorry, Stacy Nicole. It never gets any easier. Sending hugs, Anne

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your son Joe. And to loose your daughter in 2010 has to be so hard. There are no words. The loss of your son is so fresh that I don't know how you are even working. You will need time for your grief. Support groups can be very helpful as can online discussion groups like this one you have found. People who come here listen and know about grief. Knowing that someone is hearing you is a good start in doing the work of your grief. The people who come here know about loss. Some will read, some will offer suggestions, and some will direct you to articles that just might help. This site is available 24/7 and there is always someone who is listening. Sending hugs to you, Anne

I tend toward the positive and today I share one with you. Those who remember me know I lost my Schipperke-Poodle to seizures and a weak heart after I rescued him after my Jim died. I only had him for about one year. This is the picture before his haircut and visit to our vet. I also was lucky to have my grand dog live a few blocks from me and he spent many a day with Jim and me. He was a Beagle and the most gentle and loving dog one would ever want. He died a few years ago after a long illness. Well, I was just introduced to another grand dog. The kids decided it was time to get another dog. When I got the phone call that they wanted to stop by, I was looking forward to seeing what surprise they had. I knew they were looking for a medium sized dog who could travel with them. This is Buddy, a Beagle, two and a half years young. I love him already. He will spend lots of time with grandma.

Your story is so sad. I am sorry this accident has happened to you. I am just so sorry . Anne

I have read your post and I am so sorry you lost your precious English Bulldog, Lulu. From your description of her it sounds like she received all the love and care during her life that she needed. From what I have read you gave her all the love a precious animal could ask for. I am sorry she is not with you in this life, but I believe that Lulu will always be with you in your heart. Great love always brings a deep sadness when what we loved is gone. The hurt is indescribable. Those who come to this site are animal lovers. Allow the pain during this time. It will ease over time. Please take one day, one hour at a time. Feelings are just that ~ they are only feelings. The feelings will pass. I am so sorry you have to endure this pain. I am so glad Lulu had such love during her lifetime. We are here for you during this most difficult time. Do you have a picture that you would like to share? Anne

The video is very lovely, Kay. Thanks for sharing.

My dear Forum Friends, I am writing this note to remind you that we do have a donate button at the top of the main page for keeping this site open and free from ads. If you are able please consider donating to this web site. I remember that when the button first went up I did not see it. It costs quite a bit of money to keep a site open like this one. The active members exceed over 9860 now and our admin reads every one of the messages and responds when appropriate. It is our web site and even though some of us are no longer as active we still come to this site to find comfort or even respond to a member. I’m asking for you to donate whatever you can so we do not lose this valuable site. It will always remain open and free as long as our admin is able to monitor it. Thank you so much if you are able and willing to donate whatever amount. I have been a member for over seven years and realize the value of a trusted site like this one. I’m sending love and hugs to each one of you during this most difficult grieving time. enna

Keeping you in my thoughts and love, Kay. I am so sorry. I know you did what you needed to do for your beloved Arlie. I am here if you need to talk. Anne

My dear friends, This is such sad news. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. To be violated like this is so traumatic. I hold both of you in my thoughts. Marty's article about the 'emotional impact of burglary' is good and I also think to talk with someone might help. Sending love, Anne

It's time for a chuckle...

Thank you for your contribution to the book, Maryann. Your article is on my 'To Read List" and I know you understand this ~ so many books and articles to read.

How true what you say is to those points you have made, Mary Linda. We have heard that not all hospices are the same. It sounds like you did not have a good experience with the hospice for you and your husband. This is tragic for a family who needs the care and concern from others at a time like this. My experience with hospice was the opposite. The Hospice Team who worked with us was excellent. I still remember each one of them as if it were yesterday (my husband passed in 2012). My only regret is that we did not know to call them earlier. The coordination of the Team was evident from day one. Once the social worker visited and put things in motion our lives became easier. We chose to have the Hospice doctor seeing to my husband’s care because she would be available 24/7 as our Primary doctor could not be. Our nurse came weekly and near the end daily, the CNA person was perfect and did her job with tenderness and love, we had access to a chaplain and a volunteer. A hospice volunteer veteran visited a few times and this was a comfort to my husband who was a fighter pilot during WW11. When my husband was no longer able to be up and about our den became his special place. We had all the necessary items provided by our nurse like a hospital bed for not only his comfort but to make it easier for us to care for him. Our nurse made sure that my husband was as comfortable with medication as possible. She spent time talking with me about what was going on whenever there was a change. This Hospice Team was here for our family and a grief counselor was available to my family and me for a year after my husband died. Having the Team working with us freed me up to be a wife and not only his caregiver. I could tell so many stories and without hospice, we would never have been able to keep my husband at home where he wanted to be. I know not every family can have their family member remain at home. When it is possible having a good hospice team available is a must. I am so glad you have had good experiences with hospice and so sorry that the one that counted most for you was not.