enna

Thinking of you and holding you close, Katie. One small step forward...💜

So glad you are home and with the boys, Katie.  Sending love and hugs. 💜

Keeping you in thought and prayers Katie.  We are and will be with you during these very hard times. 

Anne 💜

Wednesday, September 26, 2018   Widower's Grief 

My Heart Is a Wooden Room

 

My heart is a wooden room, an empty octagon with cushions on an oak floor. The room is nestled in the earth and rises from it. The room is rooted in the earth that is rooted to the ocean in front and the mountain behind. It is organic and breathes. Love lives in this room in the midst of sorrow.

 

My heart is a wooden room with people gathered inside. We sit on cushions and share our stories of struggle and triumph. We are rooted to each other through our words, tears, and arms. In the morning, the energy of love is kindled within and flows in waves through us. 

 

My heart dances on the afternoon breeze with the prayer flags we follow on the path through the woods, and the path that we follow through grief. Our presence here nourishes one another.

 

My heart is a wooden room. It waits patiently and listens for the unheard to be spoken. It remembers the whisper of her voice and the softness of her hands. It provides a place where I make the hard journey from what has been to what will be. Grief is rooted in love and the mystery that flows through us.

 

My heart is a wooden room and empties as I share my life with others. It fills when I listen to their stories and feel their compassion. In the beating of our hearts together around the campfire, in the beating of the drum and the movement of the ocean, we feel the enduring rhythm of love.

 

As we share our stories of death with each other, the sharing of compassion breathes life back into us.

 

Posted by Mark Liebenow 

The above webinar was OK.  My notes were choppy so I decided to just listen. I think we all have things to learn about suicide. Having support and engaging in self-care is important to the one coming out of a suicide. It's important to know that suicide happens - it's part of life - we should be able to talk about it. 

I am so very sorry to hear of the sudden death of your dad.  You have come to a place that has caring people who will listen as you share with us this heartbreaking loss.

Know that you are not alone and even though we are not with you physically we are all with you here. Sharing our pain helps in our healing. 

Anne

A FREE 10-day program - Waking UP in the World begins today.

Excellent so far - Each day is available for 24hrs after the talks. I've committed to the ten days. Part of my healing.

I do not have a picture of Buttercup (the early 50s)  but here is Benji and Fred ~

Both are in Rainbow heaven now... Benji (a Schipperke-Poodle) was my rescue dog and Fred (a Beagle was our granddog...my heart still hurts.

As one of many horse lovers your post brings tears to my eyes.  I am so sorry to hear this coming from your broken heart. I remember how much you loved your Kachina. I have no idea what it cost to keep a horse today but my heart hurts for you. Scout sounds like a wonderful horse. You have every right in this world to be disappointed and angry.

When I was growing up I had a horse named Buttercup and I loved him.  We were too poor to keep him and a neighbor bought him from my father.  I was lucky to be able to ride him for several years after that.  Coming from a small town horse riding was something many of us did.  It was a different time then.  Buttercup was the first animal I can remember ever really loving. We had dogs and rabbits and farm animals but they belonged to everyone.  I loved being able to ride Buttercup for a few years after he was sold and then we moved to a city.  My most favorite memories were when I was in fourth and fifth grades when my two best friends and I used to ride whenever we could.  After sixth grade, I took up dance.  I threw myself into dance and became an average ballet dancer.  After I graduated from Point I broke two bones in my leg and was not able to continue dancing so I decided that playing an instrument was safest for me.  I played violin in the orchestra at my high school.  I was never very good but enjoyed those years.  When I became an adult and living near horse stables in AZ I spent many hours with horses belonging to others.  My last riding took place back in 2002. Arthritis took over my body and I could no longer ride. For years I spent time visiting a stable near me just hanging out with the horses whenever I could. This satisfied me but when my beloved Jim became ill I was consumed with caring for him for over five years and could no longer visit the stable.  I do understand the pain you are feeling.  You have every right to “feel” sorry for yourself.  I have had two very special furbaby dogs. One was my granddog and the other was a dog I rescued. I understand a broken heart.  I have always felt that my rescue dog found me after Jim died.

I send you hugs to your broken heart. 

On 8/27/2018 at 9:29 AM, MartyT said:

Live Through This:
Using True Stories to Help Stop Suicide

A FREE Webinar with 
Dese'Rae L. Stage
and Dr. Lisa Firestone

September 25th

11am to 12:00pm Pacific Time

---

Join Dese'Rae L. Stage,  photographer, writer, suicide awareness activist, and the creator behind the groundbreaking project Live Through This in a free one-hour Webinar to discuss the many faces of suicide in order to decrease stigma and promote healing. Desa’Rae’s work takes true stories of suicide attempt survivors out of the shadows in a mission to show those struggling that they are not alone and that there is hope and reason to stay alive.
 

A Conversation With...

Dese'Rae L. Stage

 

Dese'Rae L. Stage is a photographer, writer, and the creator of Live Through This. She lives in Philadelphia, PA. Live Through This has been covered by the New York Times, Associated Press, Upworthy, NPR, and more. Dese'Rae has spoken about the project at universities and conferences nationwide. She’s provided commentary on various radio and TV programs (including the Glenn Beck Program). Recent achievements include winning the inaugural Paul G. Quinnett Lived Experience Writing Contest and being named New Yorker of the Week by NY1 News.  Her writing has been published in Cosmopolitan, xoJane, and Huffington Post. 

There are NO CE's offered for this free Webinar. Sign Up for Free Here >>>

 

 

Don't forget to mark your calendar...

A Spoken Guided Visualization ~ Letting Go of Control by Jason Stephenson ~ something to give us a little peace for all that is going on in our world today

Comfort for the Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement in Times of Loss – Gary Roe

His words resonate and he has a way of helping us realize that we are not alone in our grief.  His writings make me think of what it is like when sitting down with a friend and sharing grief stories.

Becoming Radiant: A New Way to Do Life Following the Death of a Beloved  - Tom Zuba

Tom Zuba’s writings are about love and hope and healing.  This latest book is again focused on a new way of grieving as only he can say it.

A Place in my heart, When a Pet Dies – Barbara Karnes, RN

This is another booklet by BK explaining what happens when the life of a precious pet approaches death.  I love her booklets.  I have added her booklets to our community libraries as well as giving them out to caregivers who work with families caring for loved ones facing death.

Thanks, Marty.  Sorry about the wrong use of the word - it should have read bibliographies NOT biographies! 😜 

Two books that may be added to our bibliographies:

An excellent book on the power of awareness

Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, MD’s book Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence – The Ground Breaking Meditation Practice helps us to become more aware of who we are and how we can become better at dealing with what life hands us.  What we focus on can improve our immune systems and if ill we have the ability to heal our own selves.  After a significant loss, we can fall into a downward health spin and it is good to know that we don’t have to stay there.

Another book I would recommend is Jon Kabat Zinn’s book ~ Falling Awake: How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life. The ideas in this book are just another ‘tool for healing’ as we make time to pause, breath, and allow ourselves to let whatever comes into our consciousness be okay.  Mindfulness meditation has helped me as I walk this path of deep loss after my spouse died

Sometimes there are no words to comfort a grieving person so sitting with that person is a way of saying I am here with you and I will listen.  I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s tragic death. 

I have found that many people say things that they think are comforting to the griever but in reality, it isn’t.  The truth is most of us don’t know what to say when someone dies.  I think the comments made help the person making those comments rather than being of any help to the one grieving. 

You are fresh in your grief.  It is around the sixth month that one starts to thaw from the numbness of the loss. You will never ‘get over’ this loss but you will be able to begin to focus on the good memories you have had with your husband. I am glad you found this place because it is a safe and caring place. There are no judgments here only people who are willing to sit with you as you walk the path of your own grief.

For me, it was important to be able to talk with a good grief counselor. I was fortunate to have someone who knows about grief to help me through that first year.  Some people find joining a grief group helps. What is important is finding one that has a moderator who is knowledgeable about loss. I tried a group but found that after two or three meetings it just wasn’t for me.  Online grief support is also a very valuable resource for us. By finding this place you have found the best online grief support place. Sharing our stories and reading about what is ‘normal’ in grief helps us along the way.  

Anne

Just beautiful, Katie.  Praying for peace and comfort for you. ❤️