Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

DeAnneD

Contributor
  • Posts

    21
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About DeAnneD

  • Birthday 04/23/1958

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    Feb 19, 2012
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Cottage Hospital - Santa Barbara

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Phoenix, AZ
  • Interests
    Photography
    Animals
    Teaching
    Feeling happy again.
  1. DeAnneD,

    Hope you are doing well. I haven't seen you post in a while and thought I would send out a message to you.

    Anthony

  2. I was just checking on you. Did you have a fairly good week. Mine was all over the place again, but I did laugh and was able to try and diet (I have gained 50 pounds since Charles was diagnosed). I live in Phoenix, and although I am going to my sisters for a few weeks this next month, i think when I get back I might try to actually go to a bereavement group in person. DeAnne

  3. So today was a good day. I got up early and walked and felt better. Although, I am finding that I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. This one day happy, and then a giant wave of sad, is making the little bit of happy seems...doomed. Charles worked for a national shoe company as a buisness analysis and he loved when I would say I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He would answer with something stupid like "What shoes? Umberto Raffinis?, Danskos?, Eccos?" "Was it the left one or the right one?" Things like that..he was a funny guy, but a dork at times. : >)
  4. While I am not an expert, I would tell you these ladies know what they are talking about. In addition, I would like to give you kudos for loving enough to find this group and find help and advice. Thank you for being a supportive man.
  5. Thank you Mary. It just starts out of nowhere and you never know when and where it will hit you.
  6. It must be in the air...I had such a rough day yesterday. Sat in my therapist office and sobbed. Hugs to you, I hope tomorrow is better. Do not forget to breath. DeAnne
  7. Mary, I love this...Strange things have happened everytime I have lost someone. This last time I felt so loved when it felt Charles was still around. It has stopped though, which made me sad again.
  8. I sure hope you are feeling better today.
  9. Writing is the big one. I talk to Charles a lot too...sometimes kinda mean, sometimes in tears. Writing seems to be a different skill set and helps in a different way, perhaps it makes you have to look back and actually think about what you want to say. (My journaling has changed in four months). He has also encouraged me to meditate (thinking about how my life will look in the future and the positives that I can see.) I think the idea, for me, is to discuss with someone, who is educated in the process, that can tell me what to expect in the future and that I am normal Today, i just set and cried in his office, and then felt guilt because I have this self-impossed timeline of when I should be better. He told me, again, there is not time frame and that I need to remember to be gentle with myself. He is also encouraging me to join an actually grief group and make some social contacts and get out of my house. As for as reading, I have not really read anything except things online. I will tell you, however, last night (right before I melted down) I actually laughed so hard my sides hurt. That was the first time I think I have done that since Feb. Sadly, the thing I was laughing about made me think, "OMG... HAHAHAHA, I have to share this with Charles." 2 seconds later I remembered he was gone, 3 seconds after that I was a sobbing mess. Okay, forgetting the last part of that story...I laughed so hard I could have snorted soda out of my nose and it felt strange but really good. I hope some of this helps give you some more hope. DeAnne
  10. I think it might get easier, but you (and I) are still in that very new place. It has been 4 months for me and I am finding that I am having a a few more good moments than I did even a month ago. It still takes very little to get me from happish to a weeping, sobbing mess. I watched a silly video last night and immediately though - "OMG..I need to show this to Charles", 2 seconds later I remembered he was gone, 3 seconds later I was sobbing. I have experienced a lot of death in my family, and I will tell you...each one is different and handled differently. What you are experiencing is probably what you would experience no matter what. What does help me is I journal, and write letters to him. Sometimes I am mad at him, sometimes I tell him how much I miss his snuggles and silliness, but I tell him about it in writing. I am also in therapy(my therapist is amazing, and I do credit him with getting me through the first couple of months without me having a couplete meltdown). I think this forum helps and knowing people that have gone through, or are going through, the same thing help. I started thinking I was truly losing my mind and then found out it was a normal part of the process. I think my next step is getting back out and into a bereavementnt group in my area of Phoenix. I heard a saying in a movie not to long ago and though...that is how I feel. Upon discussing the death of his wife the character says, " If I could just talk to her about how to get over her." I yelled at the TV...YES! THAT! My sweet man was my best friend, and right now although I miss everything that goes with a relationship...I miss my best friend and being able to talk to him about "stuff". I hope you find peace today, and then again tomorrow, and again the next day, etc... DeAnne
  11. I am a teacher and have some time off during the summer, which I am finding is not really a great thing this year. I have been in a training class since monday and felt so much better all week, today I am off and am overwhelmed with sadness and just...emptiness. Ugh, makes me want to crawl into bed and sleep the weekend. I am glad I am seeing my therapist tomorrow. Just venting.
  12. Mary, I am so sorry you are having a hard day. Animals are so loving and I am so glad you have a dog to help you through your sadness. Hugs to you my sweet new friend. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and that you can feel all our hugs and positive thoughts coming through the posts. Peace to you. DeAnne
  13. Hi Jan, I understand this. It has been 4 months since my darling died and I sometimes think there is no reason for me to "be". I get up and go through my daily routine - putting one foot in front of the other. Knowing I should probably take a shower (although even this has been a little hard to have the energy to do). Brushing my teeth is also probably a good idea too. Eating, feeding the dog...all these things have no meaning. I do, however, believe the emptiness and pointlessness is a normal process. I also think that doing those routine tasks, even if you have to really think about the whole process, leads to life getting easier and easier. I hope that is true, because I am with you on this. I seemed to have lost so much energy for life.
×
×
  • Create New...