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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

teacherJoe22

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  • Date of Death
    February 9, 2008
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    United States

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakland
  1. My girlfriend's brother committed suicide almost four and a half years ago now, and there are times when the grieving process nearly tears us apart. We are currently still together, but there are periodic occasions where some relatively small thing to me completely sets her off and she constantly addresses the fact that I just don't understand her and could never understand what she deals with. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I have had such a comparatively easy life. I totally understand that I cannot begin to know what she is going through without actually experiencing it myself, but I wish I knew some way to support her without pointing out just how little I do know about it all. I wish I had had the opportunity to meet her brother before it all happened, because maybe then I could be more comfortable in talking about it and know how to add to the conversation without risking sounding insensitive. I know that her mother has had a very rough time in these last four years, and often her various emotions are directed at her daughter, which just adds to everything else. It's been hard getting close in our relationship to my family and friends, because the things they do or say or worry about seem so distant to the feelings of grief and hardship that my girlfriend still experiences each day. I love my girlfriend very much and I am quite sure that any near-breakup we have had is an emotional response to her grief and not actually an expression that she is unhappy with our year-and-a-half-long relationship. If anyone has any suggestions about what I can do as a supporting boyfriend to ease this process, I would be very grateful.
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