Bishop

My mother died of cancer as well. I know she would be gone eventually, but never expected it to be so sudden. Though my mom loves me very much, she's never promised that she wouldn't leave me. She never had a chance to say goodbye and neither did I. I wish I could have signs from her that she's still around, but i don't seem to find any. Sometimes I feel like an orphan.

I lost my mother on April 6. My father and I are not close. My mom is pretty much the only family I've got. I miss her very much and still cry almost everyday. All her stuff are still the same way when she left. Her cup is still on the table, her slippers by her bed, her handbag still at the same place where she had put it... I feel like everyday I'm waiting for her to come home, to get back into her old life, and when she does, she will need the stuff she left behind. Although I know I'll never see her again, I just keep waiting, day after day. She loved fruits, I don't, but I stuffed the refrigerator with lot of fruits. Once, I had a dream, in my dream she was still around. It was so real the moment when I woke up, I completely forgot she was gone. Only after things settled in, I realized what's real and what's not. I always hope that when I woke up, she would be working in the kitchen or something. I like listening to songs very much, can't leave home w/o my MP3. And I like video games a lot. I haven't done either of those since she's gone. I really miss her. A large part of me die with my mother.