16angel

It has been 2 1/2 years since my 19yr old son was killed...and everything you wrote was as if I had written it. Life has become so hard and I am walking along side of you. I am not in your exact shoes, but am in a pair pretty close to yours....maybe mine have laces and your have buckles, but they are very similar shoes. My heart breaks everytime I hear of another mom grieving over the death of her child. Why are we having to go through this? I ask myself that everyday...why did this have to happen! I miss my son so much it hurts...it never gets better, we just learn to cope better...I still cry so much, I just dont cry in front of people anymore...I cry myself to sleep at nite, cry in the shower, cry in my car...it never stops. I guess I just want to tell you, you are not alone although it feels like it. I spend alot of time alone because it is easier...I dont have to pretend to be happy in front of people when I am alone. I just want to tell you how trully sorry I am that you and all the other moms are having to go through this nightmare that never seems to end. God Bless you and know that our babies our with us forever.....garrett's mom forever

It has been over two years since I lost my sweet baby boy, Michael Garrett Parnell. He was 19yrs old and was killed instantly by a drunk driver on 2-26-04. It seems like yesterday....my heart has been shattered. The first year I was just numb....I cried all the time and could hardly cope with life itself...into the second year I became very angry and still cried all the time...now I still cry all the time, but I dont cry in front of people. People dont know what to do with you when you cry in front of them...they just stare at you and it becomes very awkward. I have searched for answers, read books, written to congress to change laws and NOTHING helps. My life changed the nite Garrett was killed. That is even hard to say or type. I have days I can barely function and cry alone all day. There are times without warning, I am knocked to the ground with grief. I am on the floor in my bathroom or kitchen crying my eyes out. I have asked WHY so many times and no answers come back. In the first year, I was out at the cemetary everyday laying next to his gravesite....the gardners use to mow around me...it is all so sad and not suppose to be this way. I am still searching, I have no one to talk to. I am now also divorced and my only other child, my 26yr old daughter and 5yr old granddaughter, live in the next town. I just need to find other moms like me....I dont ever want to stop talking about my baby, Garrett, he was my best friend and my buddy...he was just like me. As I write this the tears just keep streaming down my face, I miss him so much. No one understands or knows the torture and heartache I go through everyday. I go to work and put on my happy face when all along I am so broken inside. I guess I just need to know that I am not alone....thank you in advance for reading this....Garrett's mom forever