I lost my husband to cancer March 22, 2012. He was diagnosed the week of Valentine's Day and died 5 weeks later. Every time he had another test or examination the news was worse. I brought him home with me on Wednesday night and he died Thursday, 25 hours after Hospice took over. He died in our bedroom. For 17 years we were together almost all of the time. We worked together, and when he was off work, he would drive me to work and pick me up for lunch until two years ago when I retired. Then we spent all of our time together. I had alot of problems with my family during placement of my Mother in a dementia unit an hour away from all of us, and my son and I did not speak for almost a year. During that time, I thought I would lose my mind, but my Bobby was at my side with an ear to listen, arms to hug me and I could let loose. I can't imagine how difficult it was for him to live with me going nuts, but he loved me and I loved him. In the beginning I cried when the tears were there, and it was acceptable to cry around everyone because they knew I just lost my husband. I even had not so bad days in between the bad days. Now it's all bad. I don't go a day without crying for hours at a time. I am worse than I was when he died. I am concerned that this depression I am in will continue and this is how the rest of my life will be. I don't see any reason to be happy, and have no joy in my life at all. My husband was everything to me, and I miss him so much.
