rjeppan

Hi 5 weeks today my dear mum was buried and the great sadness and grief remain unabated. I was her chief caregiver for the past 4 years after mum developed progressive vascular dementia. She lived with me for 2 years, went through several stages of the illness and then was placed into a long term care home where I remained very much involved and if away had paid private duty caregivers there.I regret very much having put mum into that nursing home and always felt guilty but 24/7 just became too much.... Mum came home with me each weekend..Friday through Monday morning so weekends are particularly difficult like this past long Labour Day weekend. I miss mum so much..her touch, smile, kiss as she continued to know me until the end. Her heart gave way and I was blessed to be with her that morning, 8.37 am July 27, 2012. As her son I found mum to be a wonderful woman ,lovely both inside and out and an ever loving, faithful and supportive mother, widowed for 43 years she dedicated herself to family. I am planning to get away for a number of weeks travelling in the USA with an extended stay in Cocoa Beach Florida just to walk the beach, be away from our condo home with so many memories and hopefully gain a better perspective on all that has happened. Maybe this will help...have others run away....and did it help? Being retired I must now somehow fill this huge void as all parts of one's personal life have been on hold these past 4 years losing touch with old friends, work commitments etc. I have now finished the estate business...physically still not sleeping through the night and often feeling achy with stomach acid a problem too many days. All seems so final now with final will business completed, final taxes done and grave marker in place...my condolences to all here who are experiencing the same kind of grief...peace, Raymond