Dear Kaanen-
through my tears tonight, i read you letter on the loss of your pet raleigh - i so much identify with you. i lost my buffy - a toy poodle, three weeks ago, and i cry every time i think of her. i have to keep myself busy - i keep seeing her lying on the pillow sleeping as she was getting weaker and weaker from kidney failure. today i had to change my comforter and curtains in the bedroom because the other one reminded me of her. everywhere i look i think of her. because she was small i took her everywhere with me. i talked to her and she would just look at me - almost like she knew what i was saying. ive cried fromher loss more than any other loss in my life. i also have such guilt because i keep thinking that i did something to put her into kidney failure. she had heart disease and was taking lasix and enalipril, and a heart medication. however, i think that i should have done something more. the vet and i tried with tests, sub fluids, meds but she would not eat or drink for almost two weeks and it was time to end her suffering. of course, the decision to put her to sleep is so contrary to the love i had for her. i read this quote and it couldn't be truer- "love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" Kahil Gibran
If any comfort, i do know how you feel. Reading your letter, was a comfort to me knowing that there are other people who know the love of a pet and how much
we miss them. in sympathy buffy13
