SomeoneRandom

Hello, Dcolb. I'm very sorry you lost your dad. This is my 5th year after my dad's passing as well. Your story is similar so I can really relate. I can't give you any advice, I'm afraid, except to try to remember all the happy times you shared, all the best things about your dad and try to live as he would want you to. I know the feeling of betrayal at the hands of medical professionals, but try to remember that they can't account for everything. It's perfectly healthy to blame them, I did, but don't rule out forgiveness as the anger can consume, I experienced it. I'm not sure when the pain will heal, everyone's time is different, just know we are all here for you.

Thank you enna. I feel ready to get through this and this site certainly looks like a good place to start.

Thank you, Kavish. I'm certainly trying. I really am.

Hello Jmiller! The situation you describe is certainly perplexing but understandable. Everyone's situation and "grieving time" is different. She will certainly need alot of time and space to heal. Hopefully she will return when she's good and ready. All you can do at the moment is show her you still are there to support her, but at the distance she wants. I pulled away from everyone when I was grieving and still hold my distance at times. Focus on your son and try to get into a normal routine. I don't think I can add anything more to kayc's wonderful advice. Hopefully your situation will resolve in time, but be prepared. We are here for you.

It's been 5 years since I lost my Father (I'm sure I entered the wrong info on my page!) I was always closer to my Dad than my Mum growing up, a real Daddy's girl. He was such a Larrikin (slang for a lovable mischievous person.) Always laughing or trying to make other people laugh, always trying to cheer people up and always up for a drink. He fought cancer for years, ever since I was 8, in fact. Since then I've been in and out of hospital to see my Dad. It never really bothered me because Dad would always have some antic ready to cheer me up. He especially loved to playfully flirt with the Nurses, who all laughed at his nonsense, no matter how stern they looked! When I was in year 10 (15yo) Dad took a turn for the worse. At the end of the year the doctors decided that he should go in for Radiation Therapy (despite my Dad being 74 years old!) Since my Mum was a little daunted by the task of taking Dad to Royal Brisbane (a good hour away) I would take a few Fridays off school to guide him to the Hospital using public transport. I assured everyone and myself, that my school work wouldn't suffer as a result and since I seemed to be taking the news well everyone believed me, even I did for a while. Unfortunately, Dad would be very disorientated after his treatment and this scared me. He began to loose weight and had more trouble breathing. I began to worry constantly. Losing whatever little interest I had at school and, despite my reassurances, got straight C's and was put into Non OP (kind of like remedial classes) for my senior years. This, to my horror, disappointed my Dad. Then the next year, I was pulled out of my English class to go visit Dad in Hospital. That visit scared the absolute crap out me, he was turning yellow, his lips blue and taking short shallow breaths. I tearfully said my goodbyes and went home, only to get the dreaded phone call, at precisely 3:30 pm. It saddens me that that is my most recent vivid memory of my Dad. He would not have wanted that. Okay, now that that is off my chest, I feel better.