Ajoo

Thank you, Kay! I am considering speaking to my Rabbi. I have been going to more services since the breakup. It seems like a good place to start. I'm really sorry about your mom. That's a lot to deal with. You have to be one of the strongest people I have "met". You are inspiring! I was having a pretty good weekend. I ate most of my regular meals and was feeling much better physically. Today I'm feeling worse. It is self inflicted, as I let my mind mull over things that aren't going to help me heal. I guess it will happen from time to time. At the very least, I've learned that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you had a good weekend, too. Thank you, again!

I'm sorry your husband's death was so unexpected. Unfortunately, shortness of my breath is usually my main symptom if I am worried or upset. I wish I could make it go away. I will bring it up to my doctor just in case. I haven't had energy to clean or take walks because of barely being able to eat. I just don't know if I'm doing more damage by assuming my appetite will come back in time. I was always a little worried about my ex's selfish tendencies. My father was the first to bring up the concern when we started dating. It's remained an issue right up to the end for me. I know she still loved me, but we expressed our love very differently. I hope I learn from this (and from you) never to repeat the same mistakes. It's a hard way to learn, for sure. I love your signature, by the way. It reminds me of how my father feels about my mother. ETA: Have you ever spoken to a spiritual leader about these situations? Or would you recommend it for a religious person? Thank you for everything.

I'm sorry you've had so much experience with heartache. You gained a lot of wisdom and I'm happy you share it with others. My mother died when I was two, and my father felt he also lucked out with that marriage, and didn't date anyone else until I was in my 20's. The downside may be that I've never had women in my life growing up. This really hit home for me. I had always tried to treat my ex like a queen and I could never do enough for her. I planned my days around her schedule, as she worked nights. I often stayed up talking to her at work when things were slow. Often until 4AM, and then get my son up for school at 7. It was very worth it to me getting some extra time to talk to her, but I always wished she would make similar effort. Or, at the very least, show more appreciation for mine. Unfortunately, I don't have anything planned this weekend aside from going to the bank today, and taking my son to swimming tomorrow. The physical symptoms of this loss are making it impossible for me to go out and do things. I have constant shortness of breath, a heavy chest feeling, and am unable to eat without wanting to vomit. I can count on one hand the things I have eaten in the past 10 days at least. I hope this gets easier soon. Thank you again. It's very helpful having you here.

Kay: Thank you very much for your response. The #1 tip was the most helpful for me. I'm hoping she would have told me sooner that she was unhappy if she didn't feel so responsible for my happiness, but I'm not sure how she felt. A few of the other tips were helpful, too, though some seemed more for the potential of getting back together. I definitely don't see this happening. You're right, the hardest part is feeling blindsided and then immediately replaced. I would've loved some warning. She thinks it's very easy to remain close friends and tried to contact me daily to "check in" and then go back to her new person. She even got upset because SHE wanted us to talk, despite how hard it was for me and what I needed. I've since cut off all communication, except my son knows how to contact her if he wants to (he hasn't). I will check out that book. I really didn't know how much I revolved my life around taking care of someone else until it stopped. I'm sure it will teach me a lot about myself. This forum is helping me so far. I'm happy someone responded. I don't plan to date anyone anytime soon. Right now it's unimaginable, actually. So my son won't have that to deal with for quite a while. Spending time with him and keeping busy has been helping these past two days. The feeling once I return home is terrible, but getting easier. I have seen a therapist since my suicide attempt, and I'm aware that it was a horrible and selfish act. I was not thinking. I do promise you. Thank you for caring! Thank you also for validating how I'm feeling. I knew it's not supposed to be as easy as my ex makes it seem, but it's hard not to feel a little crazy when the other person seems fine. You've made me feel a bit better. I will definitely stick around.

Hello 2 weeks ago my girlfriend, soul mate, etc. told me she hadn't been happy for a while. I was oblivious and very happy, and have been happy for almost the entire 11 years. To my complete shock, we ended up breaking up and she said she was sure we would work it out. However, I just found out she is in a relationship with someone already, and has been since a week after we broke up. My emotions feel unbearable, and most days I can't eat or get out of bed. I feel worthless and that the 11 years meant nothing to her. I have been dating her since we were 18. I have a son who was 6 months old when we met and knows no other mother figure but her, but she hasn't kept in contact with him, either, or asked about him since. I'm so very devastated. I have attempted suicide but now really want to be stable and heal. I would like to hear other stories of these types of horrible situations, and find hope to survive it. Thanks in advance.