Pugmom1

Thank you Miss Ngu. I am at least grateful that I had the opportunity to 'prepare' myself and spend that time with my dad. I imagine that as more time passes, it will get a little easier. It's just so hard right now. Growing up, my dad was always my protector and my biggest supporter - even when he got so sick and frail I always looked at him that way. It's nice to be able to come here and 'talk' with people who understand my loss.

My wonderful father died on October 1, 2012. He was always my biggest supporter and such a good man. He had a long slow decline and we finally made him hospice but were able to have him at home. I thought it would have been easier to accept his passing, because his condition deteriorated so much over the last year it was as if I lost him a little more everyday. But when he was finally gone, I couldn't take it. I missed his presence so much and I still do. Even in the last few weeks of his life, when he was bed bound and incontinent, he would have moments of clarity when we would sit and talk. What haunts me is that he said in one of these moments that when he 'gets a clean bill of health' we would go out and do something together. I am going to be 40 years old and I was not ready to lose my dad.