Deb,
I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I lost my husband of 32 years to brain cancer on April 17th of this year. I had to leave my house as well, because it hurt too much to live with all the memories and besides it was just too much to keep up with. I do miss it though. I had a huge back yard with lots of trees and a swing on the back patio that I liked to sit in. For the time being, I am living with my son and daughter-in-law in an apartment with a tiny little patio and a view of the back side of a housing development. But, like you, I have a granddaughter that lights up my life. She is almost two years old and she brings me immeasurable joy. Hoping we both find our way through this tormenting journey.
Linda