pumkin

Dear KayC, Two years ago you were the first person to help me out when I lost my Marco unexpectedly when he had a heart attack. Don't think I would have made through if it wasn't for this special place where people truly understand. Now I see you're facing major surgery on December 23 and you are in my prayers daily. Pumkin

Dear Mary, I've haven't been able to get on the forum for the last two weeks. But, I was saying prayers for your speedy recovery from your eye surgery on 7/24. I've had migraines all my life and two weeks ago started seeing double. I've had that before in my 40's with optic neuritis when the doctor thought it was MS. Our eye sight is so very precious and I can't imagine how scary it was going through that surgery. But you knew Bill and all your angels were with you. I'm so glad you can cuddle with Bentley again. I went to two different doctors for help. The eye physician I saw looked at me and said, it's a stroke, and I want to you call your primary care immediately and get a brain scan. Then five minutes later after looking into my eyes and reading info on her computer, she changed her mind and said to not pay attention to what she said about it being a stroke, because she now believed the double vision was due to the migraines and a shortage of blood to the fourth nerve in my eye. Thank God my daughter was there with me. Needless to say I was so upset. All this physician told me to do was to go home and rest. Next morning my daughter rushed me to urgent care because I was dizzy and my heart was pounding and still seeing double and dizzy. The doctor at urgent care checked me out very thoroughly and said he believed the double vision was caused by migraines and that the eye doctor should not have told me it was a stroke which caused me to experience an anxiety attack and made things worse. The urgent care doctor said the eye doctor should have prescribed prednisone for seven days to resolve the double vision. Needless to say, I am never going back to that eye doctor. my double vision finally resolved yesterday. You are one strong lady to have gone through all that you have so far. I'm still praying that your second surgery on August 20 goes smoothly, August 20th will be one year since my Marco passed. Being on this forum and going to a grief support group at church has gotten me through this difficult first year. I am so thankful for all the caring and compassionate people on this forum.

Happy Day now that you're home with Benji and resting. God bless you dear Anne.

Praying for Anne all day. Thank God she is home safely and will be reunited with Benji. Thank you so very much for your update.

Dear Anne, I'm so thankful to hear that you have faith in the team that you've gotten a second opinion from. I was praying for you as soon as I woke up Tuesday morning. I'll also be praying that everything goes smoothly for sweet Benji at Doggy Bow Wow. Dear Mary, Thank you so much for letting us know how Anne is doing. Praying for Shannon also with all she is going through. I'll also be praying for you as you go through your eye surgery.

Dear Anne, I just read how upset you are in dealing with the medical field and the second opinion that has put you in a muddled mess. Please know you're in my prayers, while Jim, (in spirit) by your side, will guide you to the right decisions for you. It's not easy at all, and no way are you being a baby about all this. I truly hope Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach will be of help to what you are going through. Lots of hugs and prayers for you.

Dear Mary, You and Bill look so devoted to each other in your beautiful wedding picture. Going through all the pictures, cards and poems will bring you even closer to him as he is with you on your anniversary, June 22. Thank you so much for sharing the best of your memories with Bill. Dear Chris, I am so happy that you felt Paula with you as you went out with your family. One little step at a time. Everyone here is so comforting. Glad you're staying with us.

Dear Kay, I woke up this morning thinking of you and that today would be eight years since you lost the love of your life, George. You provide such hope and strength for us on this forum. And Mary, what you wrote for her was so endearing and speaks to the heart. I'm just a high school grad and don't have all the education you wonderful people here on this forum have. I am so grateful for everyone single one of you. I have no family I can relate to, except for all of you. My prayers and thanks are with all of you. Monday was my 10th month without my Marco, and if it weren't for this precious forum, I couldn't get as far as I have.

Dear Anne, I'm so glad you're getting a second opinion from cardiologists at the Heart & Vascular Institute. So many new procedures have evolved that would be able to help you out. You're a survivor no matter what comes your way. Glad you're seeing two different cardiologists. The doc I worked for did a lot of surgeries at Good Sam. Benji has a long day to go through with all the testing. I pray everything turns out well for your baby.

Dear Anne, Thank you so much for sharing what you're going through. I worked for a doctor who assisted in many heart repairs for ten years. I'm holding you and Benji in my prayers in that you make the decisions you feel are right for you at this time.

Dear Deborah, So very, very happy for you that you received such a beautiful sign from your beloved Larry. I think it puts a smile on all our faces. They are with us forever and ever.

Dear Anne, I'm praying for you and sweet Benji. You've grown to love each other so much. Thank God the vet has checked everything out thoroughly. I can't imagine how scared you were when this happened. Pictures of him are so sweet. We'll wait to hear good news from your vet.

Dear Chris, Glad to hear you had a good night's sleep after seeing your son, daughter-in-law and grand-daughter. I know how the loneliness surrounds you. I just came home from church today and starting crying and couldn't stop, until I got on this forum and read Anne's soothing words about her first year of grief. A peace came over me when reading her post. I'm just in my tenth month missing my Marco. Just want to hold him and hug him like we used to. I sometimes write a letter to my Marco, telling him how I'm feeling and other days I just plain talk to him. But just like Mary says, one day at a time.

Dear Anne, When I arrived home from church today, I just cried and cried. I felt so alone, but coming to this forum and reading your words were so soothing to my soul. I'm in my tenth month grieving for my Marco and these grief bursts just take one by surprise. Wish I could hug everyone on this forum. Thank you, thank you so very, very much for being here. I plan to check out the on-line course by Marty, our Angel. Peace & Love to all of you.

Dear Chris, I came back to this thread to see how you are doing. I'm sorry your dream upset you so much, but glad that you were able to analyze it. Nothing you say here would upset any of us. We're here for you no matter what. Your particular story about you and Paula just touched my heart. Sharing our hard moments with each other is what gets us through, sometimes when nothing else can. Some days are a little better than others. Your precious daughter, who reminds you of Paula, is definitely a blessing in your life. We all feel the need for contact with those who share a common heartache. That's why I come here. I like the fact that you said, Paula taught you and your family the value of open communication tempered with loving kindness. What a very special lady! Her love emanates through you and your children. It's heartwarming to hear that you call your daughter, Pumpkin and her daughter, Peanut and her daughter Puddin'. I had a little Chihuahua that I called Peanut. Hearing you say that you call your daughter, Pumkin, put a smile on my face and I thank you for that. You're in my prayers. I'll check in again to see how you are doing.

Dear Chris, Tears just streamed down my face when I read your story. I wish we could all be there for you. I am so very, very sorry for your loss of Paula. It's just been nine months since I lost my Marco to a sudden heart attack. Coming to this forum and going to a grief support group at a local church has helped tremendously. We all relate to how alone you feel, but when you come here, there are loving and caring people reaching out to help you. I haven't posted for a while because I feel like I'm in a cocoon right now. The people here understand us. I don't have much to offer, but they certainly do. I wish I could contribute as much as they do. It's a learning experience to see how everyone travels through this journey in their own way. I pray everyday as you do and I'm glad you were able to see your Paula, and how happy she is in heaven. On May 20th, nine months since Marco passed, I prayed for a sign that he is all right and with me. I went shopping and as I looked out the car window, there were two most beautiful big butterflies flying with each other out of nowhere, and I knew that was Marco giving me a sign that he was with me and all right. Marco always knew how much I loved butterflies. Have faith, Paula will come again to you when you least expect it. I pray everyday for everyone on this blessed forum that we all have found.

This morning I was drawn to this topic since I had a dream of Marco coming to me saying, "I'm Alive, I'm not Dead." He was so very happy and kept saying that over and over. And I showed him where I found him collapsed and doing CPR on him, but he just insisted he was alive and went down on his knees and asked me to marry him. Then as I was going to show him the cremains I have in the living room I woke up. I feel such peace coming here knowing you all have experienced something, somehow from your loved ones..

Happy Birthday Mary!!! Peace & Happiness to you always. Thank you so very much for helping all of us with your insightful posts. God bless dear Angel.

I just read your posting here about losing your precious little girl, Kylie and tears just streamed out. The people here on this forum understand just what you're feeling and going through. I believe you miss her more than words can say. She will forever be in your heart. Dear Scott, real men do cry. I believe if you let the tears flow it will help so much. As Kay said your Kylie was so beatiful with her smile. Whatever makes you feel close to her as a memorial will come to you. Sincerely, Pumkin in Phoenix

Dear Kay, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend Jack. You, Nancy and all her children are in my prayers through this difficult time.

DearJn715, I am truly so very sorry for your loss of Dave. And you are so right in feeling the way you do. I lost my love seven moths ago and still look for him. I'm very slowly coming out of that fog you spoke of. We're all here with you and share your pain on this journey. By coming here often and going to a support group & grief counselor, I pray you will be able to get through it. All of the people here are so supportive and non-judgemental. This is a very safe place. Crying helps a lot. Do take good care of yourself. Pumkin in Phoenix

I wanted to share the song I found today, "Until We're Together Again" written by Kathy Cochran of Spirit Lyric and sung by Tiffany Coburn. I've been reading all your posts this week and they're all so inspiring. Today I celebrated what would have been Marco's 71st Birthday. Right before I woke up this morning, I felt him right beside me. It was so real, I jumped out of bed and realized it was his birthday and he came to me. I spent my whole day devoted to him lighting candles for him, reading all his cards and letters and talking to him. Then when I listened to the song "Until We're Together Again" I sobbed and felt ever so close to him. I hope you'll all get a chance to listen to this amazingly comforting song. All you have to do is write the name of the song with her name and spirit lyric. Thank you Angels for all your posts. Forever Grateful Pumkin

So very sorry for your loss. Caroylyn will forever be in your heart. You're in my prayers through this journey dear Cy.

Your precious love will be with you always. I lost my precious Dobie 19 years ago. I had him cremated and placed some of his remains in a necklace. And I have a special book with all his pictures. I know your heart aches so much for her. So glad you're able to come here to share your feelings with us. My heart goes out to you.

Dear Anne, Your words "feel the pain, sit still and just be where we are at the moment", calls out to all of us here. If you ever write a book about all you've experienced, it would be so very healing to anyone who reads it. You write so eloquently and just seem to express what we are all feeling deep down in our souls. Spring is always my favorite time of year. You mentioned hummingbirds. Yesterday while sitting out in my front yard, near the carport where my Marco passed away, I spotted a hummingbird right over the place I found Marco and whispered "I will always love you my precious Marco" to the hummingbird. Just about a month ago I spoke to a butterfly I saw on one of my flowers while thinking of Marco. I felt so close to him when I saw the butterfly and now the hummingbird. I live in Phoenix and it is just so beautiful right now. Hugs to you and Benji.