storm7103

I understand what you are feeling feeling like someone took away your opportunity to be with them even at the final second. My brother died May 28, 2006 from a motorcycle accident hanging out at a memorial day barbeque with his friends. The police came to my moms house at 8pm and told her, at that time he was already taken to the medical examiners office and none of us was allowed to see him considering the circumstances. I live across the street from my mom and came over as soon as my dad called me. It all felt so confusing. He was just at the house that morning and now they say he was dead. I was so confused and hurt. My brother's girlfriend who had been at the party with him showed up around 9 or 10 and she said that after he had been missing from the party for a couple hours and she wanted to go home, her friend took her out to look for him and they found him dead with the police blocking the area off. Later I found out that it wasn't true. I foudn out that the house was around the block from where he died and he was out there with soem people from the party, which meant she new when it happened. I felt like she deprived us, his family of the opportunity to be their for him. To come and get him, to hold him for one more second. I try to tell myself that they are tryig to save you the pain of the issue, of your sister being so sick and possibly dying. Your mom wanted to protect you from that because that's what mom's do. They protect their kids from the nasty truth of the world to keep any pain they can from their heart. Maybe to his girlfriend she was sparing us this, but for me she took it away. When I go to where he died inside I feel like he is still their waiting for one of us to come because we never showed up. He died and nobody even came for him.

I feel the same way. My 22 year old little brother died a couple of months ago. He was drinking and doing other recreational drugs from what Ive heard at a party on memorial weekend and him and his friends decided to go take their motorcycles out to go show off. He was going so fast and his reflexes were slow from drinking that he just didn't make a turn around the curved road they were riding on and hit a tree in front of someone's house. I was just so ANGRY with him for dying. For drinking and going out on his bike, for even having a bike when. I just think that we didn't even get a chance to get angry with him and then still have him to love. He didn't even get a chance to grow up. I know what you mean when you say you just want to slap them and then hug and kiss them. I know. And every day now the family wants to do things like throw parties for every occasion which we never did before and make reasons to get together all the time to do fun stuff. I feel guilty also and get angry sometimes at them because I feel like they just act like he was never even here and nothing happened. Every1 just tells me that people grieve differently. I know eventually we are supposed to go on normally, that's what they would want, but It's not easy to shut off these feelings.

I know exactly what you mean, my little brother died on May 28th, 2006. He was 22. I wake up at night and I can't belive he is really not here any more and we will not see him again. He died in a motorcycle accident celebrating memorial day with friends and I just think that if I wasn;t to busy thinking of myself doing homework we would have been celebrating memorial day at my house and he would've been ok. It was a very bad accident and the police would not let us see him until the funeral. My mother was never told by the funeral home how bad he was. They said he was ok frm the waist up so we could see him at the funeral, but he wasn't ok. I will always remember what he looked liked at the funeral. I feel bad when I wake up that I fell asleep. I don't know how long it is supposed to take to understand that they are gone, but I do understand what you mean.