Thank you KayC...You are right about it being the hardest thing in the world to deal with...I know that only one who has gone through this can really know just how overwhelming the reality of the loss is..Oh, my friends think I am handling it well..and maybe I am..but they don't see me but for a fraction of the time each day..not when I am looking at her clothes still hanging where she left them, dry cleaned suits she will never wear again, shoes ...and on and on...and I am not ashamed to say I cry every day over this...me, who was a Miami Dade police officer for 5 years...A guy not considered a soft guy... I hate this ... It was so unfair for her ...She was smart (an attorney), athletic (ran in a triatholon a year ago Mother's day), and a very great mom to our twin boys (now grown men...but she treated them like her "boys"...me included) .. They live away from here and I know they too miss her calls (sometimes daily) but they live their lives pretty much as they did before this happened. My life is not even close to being the same...and I know now it never will be...Oh, I don't sit around in a corner sulking all day..quite the opposite..trying to fill it with as much as I can to keep me busy...I came to this site I guess to see others that have gone through (or are going through) similar feelings as I am and to see how I may move on in what appears to be many lonely months ahead. Thanks Kay for sharing...
