gusdet

Thanks for the response KayC. As always, you have been more than helpful. I know not to take offense to it. It just makes me really sad what's happened to her. I felt something was not right at the beginning of the year and suggested help then in order to prevent this kind of stuff and she refused and now that it is affecting her personal and work lives, I wish I could go back in time and convince her. I guess this is part of the denial?

Update: Thanks everyone for the advice. Unfortunately everything has come crashing down. The other day she was telling me how she's been getting irritated at the people at work and her boss has told her she needs a rest. Since it seems to now have started affecting her work, I once again brought up speaking to someone. I've been really concerned the whole time about her and I grew more concerned when I found out that it has started affecting work. However upon the suggestion she immediately blew up at me and told me that it is none of my business and that it is extremely rude for me to bring up the suggestion. She said she is an adult that can manage her own life and that she doesn't need anyone helping her. She then told me that we can no longer be friends anymore. I've heeded her request and have not been talking to her. I'd rather err on the side of caution and respect what she wants and not push anything. I am just so concerned and I honestly don't know what to do. I know she is not going to hurt herself, but I can't help not being concerned about her. Thanks again for listening.

Thank you for your responses. I know one of the worst things you can do is rush grieving, which is definitely not what I want to do. I've tried to become acutely aware in what I say. I almost said one thing last night and then I realized that it might sound like I am trying to rush things. My main concern above all else is just really how she is being treated by her mom. It feels like her mom is just not being fair to her and her mom is bringing my friend down with her. And I worry that this is going to keep on going on and that somebody is going to implode and it is not going to end well. I don't know if I am being unfounded in my worrying or what. Thanks again for listening.

It's almost approaching 9 months of him being gone. It is just so surreal. It pains me so much to see what she is going through and I feel so utterly helpless. Her mom cancelled her vacation that she was looking forward to (and took time off of work for) two days before she was supposed to leave. She was so devastated. She told me that the week she spent at home was absolutely miserable because her mom was "blaming (her) for everything" and complaining the whole time. She's been going downhill ever since. Her mom told her that "when one spouse dies, the other usually dies soon afterwards." This got me extremely concerned. I tried in the best way to suggest she speak with her mom about speaking to someone, but was told that it is none of my business (in a very angry, harsh tone). She constantly tells me that her mom is not giving her a rest and is constantly freaking out on her. She recently broke up with her boyfriend. She told me that she can't deal with taking care of her mom, going to work, and having a relationship. I've tried to do some things that have been suggested. I've told her that I am here to be a listening ear, but she says that she doesn't want to talk to anyone. She's also been telling me that she is angry all the time. I told her that there is nothing wrong with being angry. I just feel so incredibly horrible for her. Every day I wish there was something that I could do that would help her. It's just so unfair for her what she is dealing with. Thanks for being a listening ear everyone.

It actually seems to be getting progressively worse unfortunately. She told me the other day that everyone should "just go shove it" and that she wants to be left alone. I can tell she is extremely depressed. I've tried some of the things on the list above, but to no avail still saying that she has no time and doesn't need it. I know she is not going to hurt herself thankfully, but it's very concerning that it might start affecting her work. It has already started affecting her interpersonal relationships.

Thank you very much for your responses. I get worried sick about her every day. It pains me to see that she is already depressed about losing her father and having to deal with everything else on top of that just exaggerates everything. Up until this event I've been lucky enough not to have experienced death in my life, but since then I've realized just how insanely difficult it is. I give so much credit to all of you who have gone through bereavement and I thank you again for your advice.

My best friend suddenly lost her father about 6 months ago. Due to our bond, it was pretty rough for me at first (I still get sick thinking about it), but these past 6 months have been infinitely more rough for her and all I want to do is help her get through this, but I am not sure what to do. A little background- she started her first full time job in July and then her father passed away right before Thanksgiving. Since Thanksgiving her mother has been making her come home every time she has off of work (I should specify that her mother is in her early 50's and not handicapped and is able to take care of herself... thankfully home is only about 1 hour from where she lives and works). Lately she has been telling me how worn out she is from never getting a break and she has been starting to become withdrawn. I have suggested that she talk with her mother about how worn out she is and that she needs some time to herself. I have also suggested that seeing a grief counselor may help. With the first suggestion she said that her mother yells at her when she tries to stay at her own place when she has time off. And then to my second suggestion she says that not only does she not want help from a counselor, but that because she never has time to herself, she can never see a counselor. I am just so insanely worried about her and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any good suggestion? She is my best friend and I fear that she is going to burn out. I really appreciate it.