elainetapp

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are feeling. I loss my first dog Bran June 2012 and my third dog Charlie July 2013. I have only my little girl dog Gigi left. It has been so difficult to deal with their loss. I don't think anything or anyone can prepare you for this. I too had no one to talk to about my feelings. The pain is more than I could bare some days. To me it is no different than losing a human. My dogs were loving beautiful souls and I am sure yours were too. Most people don't see animals as living feeling beings. I had my share of people telling me that they were just dogs. They were my family, my babies and I loved them very much. I don't know if I can tell you that it gets better but it does get easier. I miss them every day but I also know that you don't have control over death and when it occurs. I know that I did not want them to suffer and sometimes it is taken out of your control. Some days you may feel angry and then you will have days of complete sadness and then a few days may sneak in with some acceptance. I believe my babies are in heaven with my dad and sister and some day I will see them again. I hold on to my memories and I really don't care what anyone thinks. I loved and still love them. People that really love you will support you. Light a candle for your baby and have a memorial. Talk about your dog and what he meant to you. I had my dogs cremated and placed in a urn. I then held a memorial in my home with my immediate family. I know it did not mean as much to them as it did to me but they attended and it does help to give you some closure and to honour their life. I hope it helps some. You are not alone.

I know how you are feeling. My Charlie had a non-operable brain tumour diagnosed in April. I was forced to euthanize him as he started to have seizures again. The neurologist told me that there would come a point that nothing would work and he would have a seizure and he may not come out of it. He also told me he may go blind. I was scared for him, as I saw how frighten he was after his last 2 seizures he had within 4 hrs. I could not let him go through that again or go blind. He became very weak, and off balanced within a few days of having the seizure. I would pray every night to god not to let Charlie go into a seizure. It was such a hard decision but he was becoming weak. The hospice vet came to my home. I cuddled him and told him how much I loved him and that he was going to go to sleep. He didn't fight it. It was peaceful and horrific at the same time. I have so much guilt for making that decision. Every morning I wake up with the realization that he is gone and I relive the pain.. My heart hurts so bad. I have another dog and she is why I get up everyday. The day before Charlie passed, my little girl was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She had surgery last week. I had 3 dogs and 2 have died in the last year. I didn't expect this to happen especially to Charlie. He was only 10 years old. My other sweet baby was almost 14. Time had flown by so quickly with them. We were a team. We hiked everyday no matter the weather. They slept with me and really were a big part of my life. I have 1 left and when I look at her, I feel so sad. She is old and I know will leave me someday. Maybe sooner that I know. It seems that the chapter with my sweet dogs is coming to an end. It seems that just yesterday, we are all together in the woods having fun and so quickly they are leaving one by one. I just don't know how I will define my life in the future.