blueiis325

Thank you Marty for the information. The articles were helpful. Have a great day. Loretta

I have a question for anyone who has taken Xanax when your spouse died. I called my doctor when Rod passed away so I could get something to help me get by and through the day. I was given Xanax and I find when I don't take them I am crying all day. I think maybe they are surpressing my feelings and stopping me from grieving Rod's sudden death. It makes sense to me when I think about it. Anyone's thoughts....

Thank you both. My husband's name was Rod and he passed suddenly. He was a stroke victim about 11 years ago, and his left arm was just there. He could not use it in any way, he also wore a brace on his left leg in order to walk. Rod's arm was giving him issues, it was like carrying 25lbs around everyday. So he decided to have it amputated. This was a workers Comp injury. He fall off a roof about 11 years ago, had back surgery and had the stroke during surgery. Workers Comp approved the surgery, which went very well. He was walking and not leaning at all. He say he wished he did this a long time ago. The surgery was on a Tuesday, we were home on a Thursday. They which meds in the hospital from morphine to oxycodine and had him go home with 6 hours of changing the meds. I went to the pharmacy to get them filled, I was not questioned, counsiled or anything. They just wanted to confirm our address. So we starting giving him the meds as prescribed with his other night meds which were, ambien, muscle relaxer and anti depressant. The next morning around 7:15 I heard him snoring, however when I went to wake him up at 8 for his next round of meds, he was gone, but his body was still warm. I called 911, and I just knew he was gone, expecially with grief counselors show up also and took me to the hospital, would not let me drive. It took 3 months to get the results back from the autopsy and the main reason was mixed medicine intoxication, primary oxycodine. I lost it. It was too much medicine for him with his regular night meds and he just went to sleep like you put an animal down. I do go to the Hospice Grief support group twice a month, and I really like it. I hope to help others as I am getting help also. In my area, they are all over. Too bad Kay you don't have one in your area. You would really enjoy them. You can relate to people that have been through the same thing. It really doesn't matter how your loved one dies, when the fog is lifted, we still all need to grieve. We were only married 2 years 2 months. In fact the picture is the day after our wedding. We both loved sports so before we went to Lake Tahoe, the next day we went to a Cardinals and Saints game. We had a blast, and we won. I have posted on here just once before, but I plan on doing more of it. Both of you take care, and hope to read both of your posts again. Take care and God Bless you both. Loretta Randall

I lost my husband 9 months ago today. Seems just like yesterday. I have started going to Hospice support group and they have helped. I would recommend them to everyone. I keep close in touch with my mother in law and father in law and that has helped also. Plus they are elderly and need help getting around and running errands, so we help each other I guess but in diffent ways. I still cry, have my meltdowns, but they are getting fewer. Sometimes its things that you find or see that reminds you of them, then it just hits you they are gone. I never thought of my status would be widower. I just keep praying for GOD to help me through this. Loretta

I found a song I played at my husbands service. I found it on you tube. It is called Jealous of the Angels. I listen to it once in a while. Very beautiful and it fits the situation. Bless you, Loretta

Thank you everyone for your advise all kind words. I had to laugh had to were telling me I needed to take care of myself, drink water, eat fruit and vegatables, I had barriactric surgery about 7 years ago and that is all I heard.lol..But then again it is true. I am almost there to join a gym to go after I get home from work until of sitting down on my frompt. I do work a high stressfull job, but going to the gym so help me with that. Since my husband died I have had oly two eeks straight alone, someone was always here for me. I love my family and friends. I have a daughter and son in law who live local with 4 grandkids which are my life. I do keep in tought with Rod's parents they are getting up in age and I try and help them when I can, take her to run her errands on a Saturday. I also have a son who just turned 25. He lives and is a senior in college this year so I will be going out there. He knws I am coming but not his two aunts so that will be a nice surprise. My granddbabies and kids loved Rod. He was closer to mine then his children, why I dont know because he loved all his kids, grandkids blended or not. Sometimes its just those little things that creep up on you. I am so used to going to the grocery store. Last year we had my brother in law and sister living with us, so there were 4 people, now its down to one. I can go to the store if I knew what I was getting, but to just to you weekly shopping, be yourelf and it was oerwheing I had a meltdown, went to the parking lot and was crying saying when the heck do you buy for one person. It was strange because both sisters just happen to text me asking how I am doing...I told her I was in the parking lot crying because there isnt any food to buy just for ne that isnt to expensive. I guess I am going to have to invest in a freeze machine. Freezer bags still burn the meet....and the was my experience for the past week, did anyone have a melt down this week also, I hope Im not the only one......Love to hear them

Hello, My name is Loretta, and I am new at this site and my first post. To give you a little of my story, Rod and I met on 8-11-2009. Rod had a stroke from an accident at work (framer) and while having back surgery, that is when the stroke accured. He could not use his left arm, and wore a brace on his left left to walk. This happened before I met him. We were married 10-09-2010. Since I am left handed, I told him he could be my right hand and I would be his left. He had so much life in him regardless of what his challenges were in life. He humbled me about life about everyday of what I took for granted. At the age of 18, he had melanoma cancer, was cured of that. He was born blind in the left eye and his right eye was weak, but he drove, not very well in my opinion (lol). If he could not do something because of his condition, he found a way. We had a lot of homemade tools around. He still had that carpenter blood in him. He and I did the majority of the remodeling of our house. I wasnt aware I would become a plumber, electrician and many other traits, but I didn't mind. After carrying around his useless arm for about 12 years he decided to have it amputed on Dec 5th, 2012. The surgery was very successful. I would walk with him in the aisles of the hospital and he couldn't believe it how great it felt. His posture was better, his walking was better. He had the surgery onTuesday afternoon and was sent home on Thursday evening. He was given scripts for his pain, but he barely needed them. On the way home he thanked me for being there for him. I told him "in sickness and in heath remember". On the way home we went by the pharmacy to get meds filled. I took him home, still in a great mood, going outside and listening to his waterfall he missed. I went back to get the meds, and not once was I asked did he ever take these meds before, they only verified our address. He was not on pain meds at all before the surgery happened. The meds they wanted him to take was meds that are given to patients with severe pain prior, like cancer patients. He had morphine in the hospital, but changed it to oxycodine for his home meds the same day he went home. I gave him his meds by the clock and the directions we were given. The next morning I found him dead in our bed when I went to give him his meds. Reason for dealth was mixed medication intoxication, mainly oxycodine. With his reg night meds the oxy was too much for him and he just went into a deep sleep, like putting an animal down. I am still very angry, sad and have alot of mixed emotions with his death. It didn't have to happen. I am a christian, but things like this just makes it hard to understand. He spoiled me rotten, not with material things, but wth his love and when he told me he loved me I knew he meant it, not just say it out of habit. I am going to start going to the support groups hoping it will help heal my heart. The only thing good that came out of this is he had two days of bliss without that arm holding him back. Thank you for reading and I welcome posts.