Hello all, this is my first post on this lovely website, i guess a little about myself is in order.
Im 20 years old, lost my mom this february 23rd, 3 days before my dads birthday, 5 days before mine.
Im still living with my dad and as always its hard to get by, being poor and all.
I loved my mom with all my heart, and i think about her alot, but the pain has eased, now i can think about her and smile. but when it comes to my dad... he has been my best friend my whole life, and daily for the past couple weeks i can't help but feel an immense pain and extremely sad about when hes going go.
we both woke up to make my mom breakfast one morning when he found her, my parents haven't slept together for 20+ years because of my dads PTSD about vietnam.
anyways i cant help but find myself bawling and praying for god to help us, to let him live a long life, to keep him around, me still being so young, going to school and still relying on him i can't imagine my life without him.
I found this forum by browsing google about the subject of losing a parent or both parents at a young age, it kinda helps me by reading that others have gone through it and are still fighting it but that its not the end of life.
Up until recently i've always thought of suicide if it were to ever come down to me losing him, i try to keep positive but its been getting me real bad, today he went to the hospital for low potassium/sodium levels. and he already has a bad heart...
One thing that keeps coming up in my head is if i were established, had my own family, wife and kids, a job, my own home maybe it wouldn't be so hard.
but anyways, does anyone have anything they can say/do to help me get over this immense pain and thought of losing my best friend and dad?
