Wracked_with_guilt

Thank you for sharing your story about George, I'm so sorry, you truly had no way of knowing what was going on with him. I guess that, if love alone could save our fur babies, they would be still here. Hugs, thank you so much for your kind words!

Thank you for your kind words, KayC, and I'm so very sorry for your losses. I wish I could blame the vet, but that wouldn't be fair, I know he did everything in his power. I can't blame him for not spelling out what would have been common sense to anyone, namely, that I should have tried to feed my cat anything to get him to eat. It's the common sense reaction even to me, now, but it simply didn't cross my mind at the time. I'm grateful for every day I have had my baby in my life, but I can't help feeling that our time together might have been longer, if it hadn't been for my stupid mistakes. Hugs, thoughts of peace and comfort to you!

MartyT, thank you so much for your kind reply. I did start reading through the threads, but it's always useful to be pointed to those closely dealing with guilt. I'll be sure to check all the resources you kindly suggested on those threads. Thank you, blessings!

Arlene, thank you for your kind reply. I am glad you managed to catch the problem in time and your cat is doing better now. I try to find some comfort in thinking that the diet I fed my baby couldn't have been the sole cause for his problems, even if it certainly compounded his problems and caused more harm than good. Best of health to your cat!

It's been three months since I lost my (cat) fur baby Rufus and I miss him very much. He was only four and the worst of it is I realized I've got only myself to blame. He had been very sick last summer, they said it was a gall stone, but, finally, after a lot of treatment we managed to pull him through. The only trouble is after that I became a bit paranoid and started feeding him less wet food (although it was already diet food), especially after he seemed to develop a bit of diarrhea (though it may have been me being paranoid again). I was constantly on the phone with the vet, trying new dry food diets, but it never occurred to me to start feeding him more wet food. Eventually, the vet proposed doing some more tests and my baby was diagnosed with triaditis, we tried a number of treatments, but they didn't seem to help either. He stopped eating dry food altogether and would eat even less wet food than I was giving him. We were just about to start some acupuncture sessions and, frustrated with his lack of appetite, I thought it might be a good idea to start giving him boiled meat. I checked with the vet, he said it was ok, so I started feeding him boneless chicken breast. He seemed to enjoy it at first and, thinking it was the healthiest food for him (boy, was I wrong), I gave him that for about two weeks. I tried tempting him with it even when he clearly didn't want it and only when all else failed did I switch to Hill's id. Again, he seemed to enjoy it for a couple of days, then he wouldn't touch it, in fact, he seemed to have less and less of an appetite and was becoming very lethargic, but it never occurred to me to offer him more appetizing foods, even when he stopped eating altogether (well, I did offer him a can of Schesir, but when he refused this as well, my brain simply stopped working). At this stage the vet suggested running some more tests and this time they found he had a severe anaemia and his pancreatitis had gotten worse. They got him on iv, I took him for three blood transfusions, after the third transfusion he started urinating blood and died in my arms during the night. Sorry to bore you with all the details, I just wanted to give you a gist of all the things I feel guilty about (there's more actually, but these would be the main things). My question is how can I possibly forgive myself for all the stupid mistakes I made, for literally starving him to death? I should have researched more about his illness and the proper diet, I should have quizzed the vet more, I should have acted faster when I saw how lethargic he was becoming. I feel I am a terrible person and I will never forget the look in his eyes as life was draining out of him.