Hi everyone
I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. My dad died of a sudden heart attack on December 26 2013. I'm 27 years old and he was 62. I woke up that morning to my mom screaming (thank goodness I was home visiting for the holiday). I ran downstairs and saw my dad unconscious at the kitchen table. I called 911 and then did CPR until paramedics got there. He was already gone.
I'm really struggling more each day. I think I was so numb for the first month but now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm having a really hard time focusing at work and I work in an emotionally intense job that requires me to really be there. I have flashbacks and nightmares all the time about doing CPR on him.
I just want this all to go away. I want to go back in time two months and get him to go to a doctor. It's so hard to fathom never talking to him again. I used to call to check in nearly every day. My friends just don't get it and I don't want to talk to any of them. Im just hurting so bad and I don't know what to do anymore.