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Kacy

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About Kacy

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    2/7/14
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Ohio

Recent Profile Visitors

771 profile views
  1. Kay, What a pain to have to deal with ins stuff, especially a mess from a few years ago. I find I don't have much patience for things like that anymore. I wonder if the Dept of Insurance in your state could help. Seems like they're not making it easy to get it straightened out.
  2. Gwen and Marj, you are both in my prayers. I hope that things start to go better soon. It's so hard to deal with these things without our husbands. Will be thinking of you both. MLG, I don't really understand all of the breathing/oxygen issues when someone has copd, but I know that turning up the oxygen isn't always a good idea. What I don't understand is why the drs and nurses don't seem to know that. Before my husband passed away, they kept turning it up and when I questioned the fact that his 02 level was at 100% and wasn't that a concern for someone with copd, they said no, it was good. Mary
  3. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    So, he had bitten before? I wondered about that, but thought the owner would have at least told you beforehand. That was really irresponsible on her part. If I had a dog that had a bite history, I think I would keep him pretty close to home and not put him in a position to possibly injure someone else. Hope you're doing okay. Mary
  4. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    I've been a dog lover all of my life too and as I've gotten older, I find I'm a little leery of a lot of dogs - even ones that don't appear to be aggressive. Guess I've heard too many stories about incidents like this.
  5. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    Oh Kay, I'm so sorry. I hope you're okay. I thought it was wonderful that you were able to spend time with him and how great it was that he had someone to walk him. I can see where you wouldn't be able to trust him again. It's so hard to know why animals do things sometimes. I'm sorry for both of you.
  6. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    Sometimes the rescues have volunteers closer to you that can do a home visit. Or they network with other rescues. When I adopted one of my setters from a national ES rescue, they had a volunteer from Brittany Spaniel rescue do the home visit because she lived nearby.
  7. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    Have you tried rescueme.org? Some of these writeups state they are calmer: http://husky.rescueme.org/Oregon#all1 Of course, "calmer" might mean calmer for a husky. My English Setters are active and they're 9 and 10. I know I'll probably not have another setter when they're gone - unless it's a very calm one, which is kind of rare. As for the pit bulls, I have nothing against them, but I do the people that continue to breed them. It is a major problem when so many shelters are full of them. Also, I would try to find a rescue group (not a shelter or humane society) to adopt from. Nothing against shelters, but I think for the most part, rescues keep their dogs in foster homes longer so know more about them before they adopt them out. Most rescues get dogs from the shelter, so they say you're saving 2 - the one from the rescue and then the next one that they now have room for in the foster's home. The only problem with rescues is that they sometimes seem to be a pain with wanting to do home visits, etc. Some really go overboard, IMO, but I do understand where they would want to make sure the dog is going to a good home because they put their heart and soul into the dogs.
  8. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    Kay, Have you looked on Petfinder to find rescues closer to you? I think they still list shelters and rescues by area. If you could find a dog you're interested in that is living in a foster home, you'd be able to find out if he/she is good with cats and get answers to most other questions you might have. I know around here, most of our shelters are full of pit bulls also. It's pretty sad.
  9. I really understand people not calling because that can be kind of awkward, and I'm sure they don't know what to say. I'm really okay with that. Don't want to be asked to go to lunch anyway, because I just don't feel like it at this point. But to not even send an email to just say hi and ask how I'm doing? Or even send a card in the mail? That I don't understand.
  10. Kay, Yes, they were all 4 Cavaliers. I knew before adopting them about the heart problems, but didn't realize how quickly it would take them and how young they would be when we lost them. We had two dogs before them - one with kidney disease and one who was diabetic. We managed their diseases for quite a few years. So, that's what I was expecting with the heart issues. When you said about Arlie being attacked by other dogs and not fighting back, that's pretty much the way they were. So gentle and sweet. Made their suffering even harder to accept. I know what you mean about things being meant to share. It seems like all of the places we went just wouldn't be the same going by myself. Or even going with a friend. It's just all different now.
  11. Jackie, I so understand everything you are saying. I started really questioning my faith when we lost one of our dogs 5 years ago. She was only 7, and we had only had her for two years. We loved her dearly. We knew the breed had heart issues but never expected to lose her at such a young age. She died in my husbands arms. The following year, we lost two others - both to heart disease. One died in my arms on the way to the ER. The other died in our home after bringing her back from the ER. A year later, we lost the last of the original 4 that we had adopted of that breed. And now, I have lost my husband. I've lost them all within 5 years time. I was the same way as you. I was happy just to be here spending time with them. Other than our grown kids, it was just us. And now they're all gone. I can't understand why it had to happen. Why any of them had to suffer like they did. The other day, my son and I went to dinner. I saw 2 couples from church that are probably ten years older than me. Not that I would wish anything bad on them, but I wonder why we didn't get those extra years. It's so hard to understand and accept. Like everyone else, almost all of the people who were around right after the funeral are no longer in contact with me. I understand their lives have gone on, but some I've never heard from since the funeral. Not even an email. When I sent a family member a note the other day wishing her happy birthday, she asked me if I've been staying busy. Stay busy doing what? The person I did everything with is gone. Right now, I'm lucky to do the things I have to do. I have no ambition to do anything else most of the time. Could they possibly think that life has just gone on for me? Mary
  12. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    Kay, It's so hard when we've put everything we have into caring for someone, and then they are gone. I've spent hours and hours researching whatever disease or illness my husband had or my dogs had. And then when they passed away, I didn't know what to do with myself. Our lives revolved around them, and now there is nothing for us to do. There is no purpose any more. Somehow, I guess we need to find something to fill that void, but I'm not sure how to do that. Nothing else seems important. In time, you will bring another dog into your life. I think you're like me - you need a dog in your life. I hate to admit that I kind of rushed into getting another dog after we lost our last female Cavalier, Molly. She is probably part Cavalier and while she is a great dog, she doesn't have the personality of my other dogs. But she was very close to my husband, so that was a good thing. With Allie, it was just like you - love at first site. You'll find the right one when you're ready. I think I may have posted this years ago when I lost my little Allie, my heart dog, but wanted to post again. I think it says it all.
  13. Jackie, it's too bad that we are all so far away from each other because I think the support would be wonderful for all of us if we were closer. Even though each of our circumstances is different, there is that (unfortunate) common bond among us. Is there someone back home that could help in finding a new place? Maybe look at them for you so they could narrow it down to a few for you to look at? Or contacting a realtor in the area you are thinking of relocating to would be a start. Moving is always such a stressful ordeal, but at least you would then be in a spot where you want to live. I understand how overwhelming it all must seem right now. Planning anything beyond today can sometimes be overwhelming to me. Maybe keeping your goal in mind will help. Once you get settled in your new place, a local rescue group could help find a dog that would work for you. Or maybe a service dog that could help with the MS? Everything seems so uncertain in our lives now that we've lost our spouses. So many questions about the future.... Kay, I'm sure it was hard to work thru starting a new life after losing George. I know you've mentioned about having to do things on your own to keep your place running, so that certainly is an accomplishment. It's wonderful that you have this neighbor now to visit with. I'm so glad she was able to be there for you with Arlie. It's good to have someone closeby. And I know you've been active in your church. It'll be nice to get away for the retreat. Gwen, I've read many of your posts in the last few months and can relate to so much of what you have written. When life pretty much revolves around one person and then that person is no longer here, it's like someone pulled the rug out from underneath you. Here I sit this morning with no clue of what I'm going to do today. I'll probably force myself to clean house because my son will be home for the week, and I want to get it done before he gets here. But if it wasn't for that, I'd have to push myself to do anything. I don't know how to get past that. I went a couple of months ago with a friend to a grief support group. It was very emotional for both of us. She lost her husband several months before I lost mine. I would have preferred individual counseling but that particular grief center only had a male counselor, and I really feel like I'd rather go to a female. Since then, I've found a female grief counselor and will be going there on Tuesday. I had already made plans with my friend to go to the monthly support group, which is on Wednesday, so will be going to that also. In one way, I feel like it won't do much good because it can't change the one thing we want it to. But I don't know what else to do. Mary
  14. Kacy

    Living with Loss

    I'm so sorry, Kay. While we animals lovers care so deeply for our pets, every once in a while one comes along that is just a little more special. I know that for you that was Arlie. RIP sweet boy. You were so loved. Mary
  15. Some days, it all just seems so unreal. Did it all really happen? It's like a never ending bad dream. I can't begin to look to the future because I feel like there is no future. I have family and friends, but it's not the same. We did everything together, so even going to the store is difficult. I have to push myself to do even that. Thankfully, my son is home every other week for a few days and that gets me moving, at least while he's here. On other days, I probably wouldn't move at all if I didn't have to take care of the dogs. I wonder, too, about staying in this house. I'll stay for now, but I don't know if I'll be able to maintain it in years to come. My son helps, but I don't want to put that burden totally on him. And like you, if I moved, I don't even know where I would go. I can't imagine moving away, but I understand about the memories involved with places nearby. There are several restaurants and places I just don't go anymore. Too many memories there and people who would ask about my husband, not knowing that he passed away. So, just better to avoid it all. Jackie, I hope at some point when you are settled in a new place that you are able to have a dog again. Even though I don't feel quite the closeness with my current dogs, mostly because they're more independent than my others, I do know that it would be unbearable here without them. I think for now, the biggest hurdle is just motivating myself to do anything. I do enough to keep things up, but not much more. There just seems to be no point in any of it anymore. Mary
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