Almost two wonderful years ago as I walked the kennels at our local pound I found him. The most amazing large lovable dog, an American Mastiff. He lay there with his head down and a depressed look on his face. The moment we went over to him, he slowly got up, came to the gate, and licked my daughters face. I was hooked!!!! After several million miles of red tape due to some thoughts of aggressive behavior Charlie was our truck and on his way home.. He turned into my best friend! He wouldn't walk into a room or even forward unless his mama was by his side. I truly fell in love with this 130 lb dog as did the rest of my family..
On Feb. 20 we woke up and found that Charlie's stomach was huge.. severely bloated. We instantly called the vet and made an appointment for our boy. He appeared to also have a hard time breathing. We got to the vet and she instantly took him for xrays and a abdominocentisis. It was at this point my world shattered. Charlies belly and lungs were full of fluid and there were masses in his abdominal cavity and possibily more in his chest! NO! He's only 2 1/2! I couldn't even comprehend. My vet realizing this was news that was not being processed well she offered to take him for an hour, put a drain in and see how much fluid she could get off. However before we left she brought up that there really were no options at this point and euthanasia was in the future. I left Charlie with her went to my car and cried. My whole family cried. Then I got determined. I wasn't ready to give up on my friend. He was just a baby.
We went back to the vet and found she drained some fluid off and Charlie was breathing better. Being in the medical profession (both my husband and myself are nurses) we wanted to try medicines. We listed off steroids, diuretics, antibiotics; anything was worth a shot. So we were sent home on a slew of meds and gods mercy. It worked for the first few days. We went back to the vet 3 days later, Charlie had lost almost 10lbs of fluid and I was feeling hopefully. Then it just stopped. Tuesday morning we woke up in the middle of the night and Charlie couldn't hardly breathe. The swelling had increased again. We had lost.
I called the back up vet because my vet was closed on Tuesday. I wanted to see what could be done. Maybe drain more fluid? In my head I knew it was time. I gave Charlie a bath and brought his bed to the back up vet. She came in and looked at him and determined he wasn't breathing well and wasn't oxygenating. The fluid had increased in his lungs and his blood pressure was pretty much non existent. If we didn't help him pass now, he was going to drown in his own fluids.
I took him outside one last time too feel the grass, smell the air, see the sky, and then my husband brought his bed in and we prepared for him to fall asleep, only it was no a peaceful event, it was a traumatic horrid thing. Due to his low blood pressure they couldn't get an IV in his legs so they had to use his jugular. There was no preanesthesia used. The vet came in and just shot a syringe of medicine in his neck and he started thrashing around. It was horrible. She said "oh I guess I need more." what?! Charlie jumped up and ran to the corner of the room. My heart was breaking. She came back in with a muzzle because he snapped at the tech when the tech tried to pick up his butt. They put a muzzle on him and I slowly talked him back to the bed to lay down telling him it was ok and that I loved him. He came to lay by me and they injected him with the second round. I then told them all to leave. I sat there with my dog, my best friend and watched him take his final breath all while apologizing to him. I failed him and then I killed him. (I will NEVER step foot in that vet office again, I am pretty sure that isn't how its suppose to go)
This guilt is something I have and cant get past. I miss him so much. Nobody understands. He was my friend. Best dog I have ever had. Loved my children, loved me, shared our home, shared in our laughs. It just hurts so much.
