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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Heartbrokenfox

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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    3/1/2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    United States

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Englewood
  1. I don't know where to begin. I am 42 with two daughters age 13 and 16. I used to be a nurse but medical problems have rendered me blind and on permanent disability. My husband of 20 years left me for our neighbor after my health declined in 2008. It was the Friday before Father's Day weekend in 2008 when my husband told me he would be home for dinner at 6:30pm he never came home. Fortunately he was alive and surfaced on Father's day. He never moved back home. After my husband (the girls father) left the family the girls and I focused all of our attention on our relationship with each other and our relationships with our pets. Fast forward to November 2013, our one and a half year old cat Tig started losing weight. I took him to a vet but only had enough money to run blood work. The results revealed severe liver damage. Within a week of the vet visit he stopped eating altogether. He laid next to me in bed and passed. I felt that I didn't do enough to try and save him. I was strapped financially. Two weeks after Christmas my 13 year old's ferret Bentley ingested something that blocked his intestines. Again, I had no money and I was in need of a vet who took care of exotic pets. I counted my pennies and made an appointment but Bentley was so uncomfortable from the blockage that he too passed while I watched over him next to me on my bed a day before the vet appointment. Last Friday our one year old fluffy grey and white kitten April jumped in the dryer while my back was turned taking a large grey blanket out of the washer and put it in the dryer. I accidentally killed her. I didn't double check the dryer because I did not even realize that she was in the laundry room with me. Our pets bring my family the unconditional love that we need and I just cannot understand why we have to endure these losses. I feel so guilty for not checking the dryer. I don't know if I will ever come to terms with the loss of April especially since it was something that could have been preventable. Writing this out makes me look like a horrible pet owner. I also feel guilty that I didn't have enough money to try and save the other pets. I am lost. I am still in shock and the tears are unending. How do you come to terms with knowing that the family members that cannot speak but show so much love and comfort suffered so much and left us long before they should have. heartbrokenfox
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