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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About steph.ny

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  • Date of Death
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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    Syracuse, NY
  1. I sent you a private message via this page and I hope you get it. I included my email address in the event you want to talk in depth since I have had negative euthanasia experiences. And believed I was being pushed into doing something because the vet didn't want to be bothered to save my girls lives. Sincerely, Stephanie
  2. I was very touched by your post and sent you a couple of private messages using the "send me a message "button. I hope you get them. God bless you always. You can and will recover from this. Love, Stephanie
  3. I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart truly goes out to you. Sincerely, Stephanie
  4. Grandchildren are a blessing and certainly a positive, loving and constructive distraction from your pain and grief. But your love for your grandchildren alone is not enough to overcome clinical depression. You love them right now and have their love but are clinically depressed. So you can see that for yourself. What are you doing about the depression besides eating little meals? You said these little meals are going to "be the key" but those little meals are not going to clear up your deep depression either. I would urge you to attack that deep depression head on by seeing a mental health pr
  5. If he won't see a therapist, there is nothing stopping you from seeing one and getting professional ongoing supportive help regarding how best to proceed in this relationship.
  6. Part of my losses include my parents dying within a day and a half of each other. I flew from NY to Florida to visit them both in the hospital. I had no idea what was about to happen was even a remote possibility. As I flew on the plane to FL I was relaxed and even enjoying myself. They were on the same floor in the hospital in rooms next to each other. 24 hours after getting there my father died. 36 hours later my mother died. I was staying in my mother's room with her and so I never left the unit and was present when all this happened. When I got back to NY I was so afraid to sleep in my bed
  7. Since my deaths, I ask people in appropriate settings "Would you like a hug" or "Can I give you a hug". I haven't gotten to the point where I can say " I need a hug" but those asking them about hugs secretly is because I need to be touched. I hate it when the hug is something the person agrees to but you can feel the hug was given with no feeling behind it. Oh well, you can't have it all.
  8. Your story reminded me very much of mine. Without going into details I will only say that in a year and a half I lost four immediate family members. Not "distant relatives". I have been out of my mind with grief and anxiety. Mary made some good suggestions about places and or people to turn to for help. I can say from my own experience that although her suggestions are excellent, we don't live in a perfect world and sometimes we may not have friends that are close enough to do things like give rides to your brother to the hospital. You would think that in a crisis so called "friends" would hel
  9. My heart truly goes out to you. In many ways we share a similar story. Much loss in a short period of time. I can't say how sad I feel for you. However as stated, you and I are very much in a similar boat. Hugs and lots of love coming your way. I am seeing a counselor to help me with my feelings but that does not mean I don't hurt in between sessions or even during the sessions with her. I send my love and concern for your broken heart. Peace and love to you always and forever. Please have hope that you have what it takes to come to a point of acceptance in due time. I am so very sorry for you
  10. My beloved companion of 16 years was going downhill fast. I had adopted her as a puppy and we were constant companions. She was always with me, even in the car. I thanked her for spending her life waiting in the car for me because everywhere I went, she was with me. But she couldn't come in most the places. (The library, the grocery store.) On the evening before she died, I took her outside to go to the bathroom. It was late. Things did not go as I had planned. I brought her back inside and she layed down in the living room. I was shocked at what had happened outside (she sat on the back p
  11. I am a big advocate of one on one grief counseling where we really can't on our own come to terms with a loss. If you can, please try to find a counselor who can tell you with certainty that they have experience with people who have been traumatized and can compassionately understand that your trumatic event involves a pet. If they have no experience, you must find someone who does. One on one talking about these things can be very helpful. You said you may as well not be here. You SHOULD be here. Please get help if you can.There is nothing wrong with you. Just that your pain is more than you
  12. You did good by Dash even though things did not end the way we all like them to. Please don't take personal responsibilty for the things that happened that hurt you or Dash. Life did those things, not you. Peace and love to you.
  13. My heart truly goes out to you. I care about how you feel and am very sorry you had to suffer so much. If you can find a counselor who can help you with the grief you carry, you will be one lucky lady. Make sure you make very clear to them that part of your grief is pet loss and you need to confirm with them early on that you need someone who can understand and help you with those losses and not just human losses.
  14. I went through something almost idential. I can't believe your story. I hesitate to tell my story because it is very sad. But suffice to say I was feeding a stray and fell in love with him. I already had 2 cats and could not take this cat in. I called a woman who said she rescued cats. She also said she worked at a veterinarian office and if this cat needed any vet care, she would take care of all of it and it wouldn't cost me a penny. She came and we used a humane trap and trapped the cat. To make a long story short, the next day I called the vet's office where she worked to find out how the
  15. It is fine the way you "ended" things. You say you saw Billie's eyes for the last time being carried away and you not there. But ask yourself. Were you "yourself" at that moment? No! You wer in a panic and grief stricken. From that position you were making your decisions. Even regardingi the ashes. When we are in a panic and grief stricken we are not "ourselves". Ask yourself if you were expected to be acting 'normal' under these circumstances. Acting as if it was just another day, another event. No big deal. Of course you were not expected to act like it was any other day, any other event. T
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