catch108stchs

I absolutely love the first one! I've asked him to come to me as a monarch butterfly, so it stood out for that reason too. Thank you

David's first birthday since he left is in about a week and a half. We're going down to spend time with family (we never have on his birthday) and we decided that we are going to get seed paper in the shape of butterflies and pass them out to random people around town. We're going to put them in bags so they don't get messed up, I want to put a quote on them but don't know what. Any ideas?

It may have been posted here before, and is my signature. It's from the bok The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I first read this book for a college course, when I got to this line I froze and read it over and over and over. I even underlined it. It hit me in a part of my heart that knew exactly what it was talking about. At 27 1/2, I've lost 7 friends and a few family members. This reminded me of all my friends. "Fairness does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young."

I haven't talked to her yet. She was supossed to call me last week and hasn't yet. (she lives in California, I'm in Illinois) We may have to stay in a hotel if we can't get boarding for the dog, which would be just fine with me. I've kind of dealt with the "new" house thing after my granddad died and my grandma moved out of their house. In a town of 6,000 it's hard to avoid things like that, but his house is behind the family business and just off the main street so it's right there. I don't want anyone else living there, but I don't want to not see it there either. It's a weird feeling.

I didn't want to start a new topic, so I'll just post here. We are going down to mom's hometown (where he lived) in a couple weeks for the first time since the accident and everything that followed. I'm nervous how it's going to go. I'm meeting a friend of his and his girlfriend and I'm ready for that, just not the rest of it. I wasn't ready to leave when we did and I don't know how going back is going to be. Sleeping in the bed at my grandma's and just being there. I don't even know if his house will still be there (my aunt & uncle are talking about demolishing it). Any advice? I also had a horrible dream about him last night and can't get it out of my head (he was visiting me and OD'd in front of me....in reality, he'd had his issues with addiction, but was clean at the end)

A friend of my aunt's is a grief counselor. I'm going to talk to her next week. She knows everyone involved, so I think that'll help. She knows what a loss it was. She worked with my uncle at his funeral home, so she knows all of them really well.

Oh,"little sister". Your most recent post has me in tears. I can so relate to everything you said. I hope you're doing ok. ♡

m trying to be strong for his friends and talk more to them because I am getting no support from my friends. We don't live in the same town, so none of my friends knew him. I have one friend who checks on me, but that's about it. So I'm trying to be that person for -his- friends, even knowing that they all have the support system I need. A good friend of mine lost her younger sister, who had a similar story 2 months before I went through it. She's told me that the best advoce she got was to "redefine what makes a good day". I've done that. Good days now are days when I don't cry that much. Like I said in my original post, I've lost good friends (suicide, car accident & murder) and nothing hurts like this. I just don't really want to deal with it yet. If that makes sense.

I only have one sentence. He was not his mistakes.

Ugh. I know exactly how the first few paragraphs feel. I haven't yet gotten to the point where I want to let myself feel the pain. I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I'll talk about him, but nothing else. I just can't face it yet....

My cousin died mother's day weekend. We're both only children, so we're more like siblings than anything. I've been calling him my brother since I was old enough to know we were related. He'd had his problems and had worked through them and was turning his life around. A friend of his called needing someone to bail him out of jail. D went and on the way was in a single car, fatal accident. We don't know yet what caused it and it doesn't really matter. I am so lost. From the moment I got the news I've been spinning. I've lost close friends before, that was nothing. I keep trying to just ignore this so I don't have a complete meltdown. I know that's not good, but it's the only way I'm "coping" (or not coping). I barely made it through the services. I'm trying to be strong for his friends and I'm learning more about him than I ever knew. That he thought more of me than I ever knew. He wasn't even 40. We were supossed to have more time. This was supossed to happen when we were old, not now. We were just getting to know each other as adults and it was all ripped away. I don't know what to do....