My beautiful 3 year old Lhasa Apso Tashi got diagnosed with GME (Granulomatous Meningoencephalomyelitis) on 20th September 2013. Its a long story of treatments so this is a very short version, I was back with her every 3 weeks to Leahurst (UK) every 3 weeks for treatment. She was doing really well by end of January this year she was nearly back to "normal", then she started having seizures back in Hospital for 8 days..........when she came out I had to start all over again with her she could not walk and drugs every 4 hours. There was some improvement but not a lot and I was told she had Kidney damage too. The steroids she needed to keep her alive gave her horrible side effects.......all she wanted to do was sleep.........on 16th April in the morning she had another seizure and I knew then I could not her through all this again.......back to Leahurst and I had to have her put to sleep..........
The last hour of her life goes round and round in my head all the time, except when I sleep which is not often, I cant think of anything else.......all I do is cry..........I cant get it to go away, I feel so bad, I should have let her go sooner, I put her through all that medical treatment because I didn;t want to loose her........I miss her so much I cant bear it. Its over ten weeks now and I just feel the same as I did when it happened, I cant bear the pain.
I just want to be with her, my death does not scare me I have no fear of it, I want to be with my beautiful Tash I love her so much I am distraught and just dont know what to do.
The last 7 months of her life I was with her 24/7 I barely left her side, I cant stand the pain any more
