On Monday July 7th.... my little dog, Zookie passed on... in my arms, and her loss is so painful for me. I rescued this tiny shihtzu 10 years ago. Her living arrangement was living in a basement, in which her breeder told me and my husband, upon arriving there at her home, there were over 100 more shihtzus in her basement. We had no idea of what dog we would be given. A tiny, black in color, frightened , shihtzu girl, was brought upstairs from the basement. The breeder placed her in my arms, but due to very little human contact, Zookie jumped right out of my arms. I knew from the start she was a survivor, and I felt so blessed to have rescued her. The breeder again placed her in my arms, and this time, she did not jump. When we arrived home, Zookie hid behind the sofa, water and food were placed on the floor. Within time, with lots of love and and earning Zookie's trust, it all came to together. Her breeder did not know her approximate age, we were told 4-6 years old. So.... my Zookie lived to be 14 - 16 years old. The bond that I had with Zookie was unmeasurable... she weighed only 8 lbs when she was younger, and as she grew older, the weight was less. I babied her.... she had a mattress with a baby quilt, and pillow, her blankie, where she slept at night. She ran up and down the hall, playing with her brother and sister... and they are so sad with out Zookie. I have a boy shihtzu and a girl yorkie, whom my husband and I rescued also, but did not live in the environment that Zookie had. We would ask Zookie, where is that belly (Tummy) belly we called it.. and she would roll on her back and just roll aropund showing off her belly. Zookie began to sleep more as time passed.... but we had no idea, that she was going to pass on.... and I feel so guilty that if I knew she was going to get sick, I would had tried my best to do something!!! It was exactly last Friday... the 4th of July... and Zookie was in our bed... in the morning, upon her waking, we would put Zookie in the bed, before we got up, if she was up already. We were afraid she would fall out of our bed, and get hurt , if she was to sleep with us. So.... I got up, and my husband stayed for awhile, with Zookie, then he picked her up, to bring her out, with her brother and sister, and ther was blood on the bed. He called for me, and I cried. She seemed to act ok.... but due to this, I jumped on the phone and called the vet. We set up an appointment .... and he said she is comfortable... but it is her time soon, and I have to decide, and to keep her home. On Monday it was time, and I can not go into what other things occurred, but my Zookie had kidney failure. My husband had to go to work, so it was me and my Zookie. I sat out on a swing in our back yard before going to the vet and I sang her ... sunshine on my shoulder, and I loved you a thousand years and I will love you a thousand more. I got to the vets, and I held her in my arms while the vet slowed down her heart and then the other injection to stop the heart. I was told I could sit with Zookie , and I did .... and even though my little love had passed... I held her and talked to her... and I told her, I would continue to saty with her, through out it all. Then I brought her to be cremated. I have never had a pet cremated, I stayed there . I have her ashes on my night stand next to the bed.... and I just for the 1st time, yesterday, did some house work. I have a bed that was Zookie's favorite, and I do not have the strength, to wash the bed, as the bed has Zookie's smell. I have lost pets before, and I have cried, but the impact of the loss of Zookie... is so very hard, and overwhelming. I needed Zookie, as much as she needed me, and I am grieving still, with lots of tears. Zookie rescued me... the love and the need that she had for me to take care of her, made my life so rewarding... as if she was frightened.. I wopuld say to her huggies.... and I would hold her tightly in my arms, and she would snuggle her little head into me, and that was a feeling I can not describe. I love my other 2 babies, with all my heart, as I did Zookie... but they are not cuddlers.. more in dependent. Zookie was a dog that gave out so much love to me.... as I did to her. She always shyed away from others, but loved me and my husband. The impact of Zookie not being here is BIG, our home is lonely, and her brother and sister, are on guard through out the day looking for Zookie, upon arriving back home , they were so sad not to see Zookie in my arms. They gave her kiss' upon leaving for the vets. My heart hurts and is broken.... and yet there are those that say..... IT'S ONLY A DOG. They have no idea... it's FAMILY..... and a devastating LOSS!! I Love You ZOOKIE... and you are forever in my heart. I have a toss pillow on the sofa, and that was one of her favorite spots... to lie down..... and she was so tiny, that there was enough room for me, to lie down next to her, and have my head also on the toss pillow. For all the love, fun, laughs, snuggles... thank you honey... we love you.
