Infenitr

Good morning Gail, I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I just want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. That is to love yourself and your other little girls. They need their mom. I know that you are in pain. I am too, I lost my oldest sister to cancer on November 5, 2003. I sometime feel ambushed when people at work offer condolences and hugs. I think I am doing fine when I think about her on my own and when I am alone and it is ok for me to cry by myself. My hope is in Jesus as my savior and I believe in him. Because I do, I know that I will see my sister again. She cannot come to me again, but I can go to her in heaven. That is where I believe your baby girl is resting too. If you want to learn more about Jesus, read the book of John in the Holy Bible. I believe that it will give you strength and encouragement in a time like this. Infenit

Dear Emma, I understand. There is something very special about the relationship you had with your Dad. Treasure all of your memories and share them with the rest of your family. I lost my Dad Nov 13, 2001. We had a very strange relationship, I did not see him until I was 21. When he died I accepted the fact that we would never have a true father/daughter relationship. I am so glad that you had your father with you everday. I always wanted to know what that felt like. Thank you for sharing your Dad with me. It has been two years and I haven't forgot what my Dad looked like the last time I saw him. My Dad died from cancer and had lost a lot of weight. I prefer to look at his pictures to remember the true man that was my Dad. I lost my sister to cancer on Nov 5, 2003. She spared us the pain that she was suffering. She was in a hospice program for six days before she died. My love for her is still growing because she loved me so much that she did not tell me how much pain she was in until the very end. She is in God's care with our other loved ones who went before. I believe that I will see her again. Be true to your feelings and let the time pass as you heal. Don't worry about forgetting. Do not feel guilty on the days that you don't think about your father. His life will always be a part of you. Infenitr in St. Louis

I know what you are talking about. We just buried our oldest sister on Wednesday. Her funeral/homegoing celebration was the best that I have ever attended. I came home today from Indiana where she lived. I cried several times on the drive home, and when I got into my bedroom, I listened to her voice on my answering machine and cried some more. I wrote in my journal opposite the page where I had prayed for her healing from cancer. I cried some more. All I can think about is the long telephone conversation we had especially on Sundays after she moved from St. Louis, Missouri to Indiana. I could tell her all of my joys and troubles and she could tell me anything that she wanted. We prayed together on the phone and cried together. None of my other seven siisters knew as much about me as she did. I feel lost without her. As I am writing this, I am crying again. I don't mind the tears, I mind the void that is developing in my heart. I lost one of my brothers in 1982 and I thought that was the worst pain I could feel. This does not even compare. I lost my Dad in 2001, and the pain was no where close to this. I know that with time I will be able to think of her more often without tears. I know that she is in God's care and not in pain anymore. I know that Jesus was with her when she left. Even though I know all of this in my mind, my heart still aches so much. We talked on the telephones mostly on Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. What will I do when Sunday comes again?